♥sTory oF my LiFe♥

2012-01-16T23:11:00.001+08:00

Its 2012!!
Time past by reallllliiiii fast!!!!
Danny's in k1 now n i still cant believe it! He's still like a baby to me. Oh boy! U'v grown up! I really jz want u to b happy n succeed in life and thats all i ask for.

Rifat Erdayyan is 14months n he's been walking for the past 2months. And i can say that he's a hyper kid too though there are moments he's quite clingy n cry baby n those are his not-macho moments. Haha! Btw,he's iron defiency is decreasing n im soo worried!! Now he's being refered to haemotologist n i hope things wud get better for him. -one of the reason he's not putting on weight besides eating 24hrs. He grows taller but not fatter.

My younger bro is leaving to Thailand for 9 freaking months!! Goshh! Hope he'l b doin well there n miss us not. Hehe. I hope he'l b all fine there. Yet another brother is leaving me. Haishhh! Lucky im married now,atleast there's a man I can rely on. :))

Me b bro with the newly engaged cousin.

2011-12-23T15:40:00.003+08:00

Aigooo~

I kept having 'bad thoughts' bout my love. He's all fine and as per normal yet i have doubts bout his love towards me.
Spoke to him last night n i pour out my feelings n he says, "sayang,i sayang u lebih dr u sayang i tau.. Tkmo ckp mcm gini pls?" as he said that he look into my eyes with both arms hugging me n i cn c he's watery eyes. Aww.
Thank u love,i know u love me but i dunoe y sumtimes i feel tht u love me nomore. Maybe,bcos of the bzness of every day chores/task we does, that make me feel neglected by u. And i guess,mayb cos i'v been the staying at home wife makes me become insecure,and like come 'otak mati' dats y 'kene godaan syaitan' tht jz wants to ruin everythg. Lucky i poured my feelings to you or i dunoe what wud happen.
I know u r working hard alone to provide everythg for us and sometimes u came home feeling super shag yet u stil plays w ur boys n gotta entertain ur pampered wifey. I really thanked u soo much! Im sorry to hurt u with my words n my silent treatment towards u. Im soo sorry sayang. InsyaAllah,i hope this gonna b the last time having this insecure feelings. I love u sayang.
Thank u for loving me too.

And guess what. Right aft we talked bout my feelings,hubby voiced out to make all of our passport n wants to plan to go for holiday by a road trip!! Wee~ i need tht badly sayang!! Am soo looking forward to it. Lets jz go to KL cause i badly wants A&W n Subway. Lol!!

I know hubby wud do anything for me from the day i knew him. His care n concern towards me is too deep that i dont think i deserve that knowing my super terrible mood swings. But despite all tht,hubby stil stand strong w me and i pray that our marriage will be bless with lotsa love from Allah and may our love blooms til thereafter.

Im so bless to hv u in my life sayang. Happy turning 7years of knowing each other. (though i forgot wat date was it but definitely its ard end Nov or early dec)
Im looking forward to our 5th year wedding anniversary. And dear,can we do a photoshoot of our small but complete family of 4? Pls? :D

Resmincing moment;
080305 - we got together
190806 - we got engaged
030307- we got married
071207 - we got M. Rosly Erdanny
170309 - we got our house
130509 - we got M.Rifqy Erdanniel
281110 - we got M. Rifat Erdayyan

Alhamdulilah, all these with Allah's will. Syukran ya Allah.
Im looking forward w more moments with u sayang. Rmbr, ERZANISHA, established since 080305. (",)

Woots. sucha superrr loooong post.
Thanks to my not sleepy eyes n goooood mood. Weeee.

Ok i think thats bout it for now.
Wanna try to turn in and yeayy!! Weekend is here. Woooho! Happy looong weekend darlinks.

moments aft nikah, 030307

last pic of the day of tunang.

Till here, take care.

2011-12-21T17:46:00.001+08:00

Arghhh!!!
Bcos of that blardy product my face now has countless tiny spotss!!!

Shits!
I really hate this!!

2011-12-21T02:05:00.001+08:00

Am i asking sooo muchh??
Am i a burden to u??
Am i a nuisance to u??
Am i bothering u??

Sigh sigh sigh!!!!

I really wonder,what do u take me as.
U neglect me. U take me for granted.
U ignored my needs.

Sometimes,i really regret!! Regret for knowing u cause all that happening is ALL cause of YOU!!

Im not asking for a PRADA bag, all i need is PURELY LOVE,CONCERN n ATTENTION from YOU!! But day by day,u'v been neglecting it. I tried to spice things up but u dont even care to.

Is it soo hard to atLEAST appreciate me?
Is it soo hard to atLEAST tend to me?
Is it soo??

Arggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

#luahanhati

2011-12-19T16:58:00.001+08:00

At times,i just feel i need some time for myself. I wanna be alone. Far away from EVERYTHING.. N dont wish to even think of anything. But i know this not gonna happen. In my dreams perhaps.

I dunoe y but i jz feel im being neglected. I think this is the 2nd time in a year,i felt this way. Oh my!!! I really hate this feelings! Sometimes,when this feeling come,all i think is i wanna set myself FREE!! Arghhh!!

These feelings has been playing in me for the past few days n i sooo hate it to the core!!!!

"She's gone"

P.s/ All i need is your concerns and attention and YOURSELF back.

2011-12-13T18:05:00.001+08:00

Its not about how many peeps you should have on your side BUT what kind of peeps you have by your side.. Treasure each and everyone of your friends/loved ones before they went awayy... (",)

Well,i came across something in mind today. Not everyone will love or treasure a friendship/relationship like u do.

For me,i love every single relationship i made. And yes,i might seen like i dont care but deep in me,i do. Im a very reserved person n therefore i dont usually start a convo whereas i love to. And people wil start thinking im sombong,i dont like to mix w friends etc. - oh well. I got a lot of negative remarks made by friends. Sad but true. I dunoe its jz me or them??
Very heart aching when a friend of u ignores or mayb neglect u. Im not bragging but u know, i usually priotise others than me, though i might b at the losing end, stil i find it happy making others happy.. Still, they dont c this but take me for granted. Sob sob.
Ohh well thats life.

Dah la. I dun wan to dissapoint myself with others thoughts. Jz move on n y bother when they dont. -.-

2011-12-09T14:30:00.001+08:00

Im back for more post!! Cheyy! Haha
Anyways,alhamdulilah. With Allah's will. Things have change between me and this friend of mine. Thanked God for this! Unexpected!! I thought never will 'we' met again but maseh ada 'jodoh' between us and so we meet again,alhamdulilah. I really felt relieved the moment she hugged me. It was a comforting hug ever. Thanks dearest fren.
Bck to my face!! Yess!! Stil there's spots at my forehead n cheeks. I stil yet to hv my flawless skin back. Chey. Not that flawless la but criously before i use this product,i got no prob! Now,it bcame dry n look saggy sey! *am i exagerating??* haha. But really,so depressing w this spots!! For me its super obvious,but i dunoe if the beautician of the products wud say this is nothing?!!?! I called them and already xplained everythg n this time they told me to stop the serum. Its like,actually the serum wud 'make do' the prob face but since i got no prob yet i use it,my face now jadi rabak lorrr!! Grr. Ok i will do as instructed for this one wk and wil get bck to u pple aft a wk for review!! And i wil come down to ur office if it gets worst!

Thats me at my uncle's new office for doa selamat. Hagel Travel now at Jalan Pisang above cake love couture shop!

Ok now lets c this angry baybee!!

2011-12-06T16:09:00.001+08:00

Currently,am super pissed off w this current facial product that i tried since 2weeks ago. A well known product,which was being air-ed at local radio for its 'magic' that u can c within a week of using it. Tell u what.. I'v used it for a total of 13days,twice a day n u know what i got???! A bloody worstt acne!! I call it acne cause i dunoe what 'biji' to call it!!!! U know after a week,my face became v dry that there's small tiny bump/spots at my cheek area whereas BEFORE,i dont have this problem. Hubby then received a call from 'them' making survey n hubby told them what im experiencing. So they said,i shudnt have put it for 5mins,i shud make it for a min or less dats y my skin came v dry w the spots out too. After that day,i do as instructed. A min or less for the facial wash.. Followed by the conditioner then the serum. And to my surprised it got worstttt!!
I am really pissed off n v v dissapointed.
Now im waiting for wednesday to come to make it a week of the 'new' regime they recommend, before i made a call to them.. I dunnoe what will they advise me this time round. I'v nvr liase w them since day 1 cause all is frm my hubby. Hubby called to make purchase and courier guy comes for delivery. So i haven made any communication w them n i make sure i will in, a day or two later. Really v v demolarizing each time i c myself in the mirror.. I felt my face is aging!! Not getting any freshner as what they say!! Arghh!! Pisseddd!! I post some of my pic my current face soon.
My face before the product when im nt 'tied' w any expensive product.

2011-12-06T14:31:00.001+08:00

Its stil not too late to wish my mini me a very, Happy 1st birthday - Muhd Rifat Erdayyan on the 28 Nov ago. Alhamdulilah, he's one. More years coming up ok baby.

Tomorow is my first baby, 4th baby.. Ya Allah!!! He's a BIG boyy now!! Its been 4 years iv been a mama too..
Time really flies eh. I used to breastfeed him,put on diapers for him,spoon-fed him,carry him but now.. He can do all that on his own. See-how fast 4years is. Though he's turning 4 and now a toddler,i still calls him baby.. Cause i stil see him as a baby! I think thats y he's soo manja til today.
Nevertheless,i just hope my boy wil grow up to be anak yg soleh. InsyaAllah,amin.
So tomorow i guess i'l jz bake him chocolate cheesecake or mayb just cupcakes.. Must ask the bday boy what he wants..

Ok i guess thats bout it for now.
Update real soon!
Takecares!!

2011-11-25T11:16:00.000+08:00

Last updated, august.. And now is ? END november!!!
Goshh!
Wat happen in the past 3months??
Very sure i went thru ALOT!!

We left with jz a month To a new year! Woww!
Time really flies~

My life has been preety ok,went thru those ups n downs moment.
Well, thats life.
*Too much have been happening that i dunnoe where shall i start with. LOL!*

My son's bday is around the corner and this means a year older for them. They'v grown up..
Really grown up. Sometimes, i feel bad cause i feel that i cant juggle both boys at one time.
U see, Danny needs my attention and at the same time Rifat too furthermore his breastfeeding
and very clingy.

Though i see Danny's independant, at the same time he is very manja.Danny's turning 4,a big boy but i still see him as a 'baby'.. At times, i still calls him baby and each time i calls him that, he wil smilee. aww. cheeky. YESS,i know he is very hyper and i heard many says that he's a notty boy. Oh well, i admit my son is v mischievious but waittt til u have ur own ''mischievious'' child and lets see if u like pple calling them notty.
I really had enough of that comment and all i hope, one fine day, Danny wil prove them wrong. -.-
It really saddens me when people tend to scold him due to his hyperNESS. Danny's the type who cant-sit-still and can talk n talk n talk n run n run n run n jump n jump n jump..VERYYYY VERYYYY HYPER. But day by day, i can see some progress in him. He now can listen n do any instructions given though at times he get's 'uncontroble' when there is 'crowd' or when he didnt have enough sleep, thats the MOSTTT CRANKYY moments of him. -you wudnt wanna see him during that period-

Woohoo~ my other boy, Md Rifat Erdayyan is turning 1 soon. Alhamdulilah,thank you Allah for this bundle of joy.
There was a moment when i thought i wud never again will see my upcoming childs (after my late son) anymore cause i feel that im fated for just Danny, BUT Allah made this happen. He knows what best for us. Bersyukur & Redha.
Rifat is one active boy,alhamdulilah he's growing healthy. But he's a latching babyy.. he wants to just latch and WILL NEVER SUCK any other teat! grrrrr~ believe me or not, he wont even suck any water from any bottle. He'l just drink by either cup/mug/bottle w NO SUCKING involve. FUNNY but TRUTH! i'm trying my veryy best to make him drink by bottle cause i plan to mix some FM as he got low IRON in his blood and doctor advise to mix.

It saddens me when i see both of my boys playing with each other. Saddens causee... it really reminds me of my late son.
Rifqy, mama still misses u and every single moment of looking at your abang or adik, u'r always in my mind dear. Please do come and visit me in my dreams ok sayang.

Muhd Rosly Erdanny, Muhd Rifqy Erdanniel, Muhd Rifat Erdayyan,

mama love you boys equally darlings..

Ok enuf of my boys.

Lets now talk about friendship.

What is friendship to you?

Do you treasure your friendship? Do you even treasure your friend?

Well, for me.. i really love to make friends despite the shy-me, still i'l b more then glad when there's someone who wants to me my friend. Im willing to be there for my friends anytime. We'r just a whatsapp awayy. But sometimes, i dont understand y there must be people hu dont appreciate things like this. They tend to take us for granted. Need us when they'r in need and can anytime IGNORE us when they got what they want. YESS,i dont ask anything in return but atleast treasure the friendship pls. ;(( i dunnoe y i stil cant get 'it' over though its been months. sigh. BIG SIGH.

Now im just glad that i made friends in the twitter world.. they'r niceeeee bunch of gorgeous ladyy's n mummy's with adorable kiddos.. :))

Enuf of blabbering.

im ending this entry for now.

Today i learn, Don't label others cos we might just be like them with or without us realising it..May ALLAH forgive us & guide us to be a better person..

My boys birthday is around the corner.. :))

Hubby's birthday is coming up nextt too

Yang ini - VAINNNNPOTT MOMENTS.. ;D

Till we meet again in the upcoming posts.

Take Care.

2011-08-01T13:14:00.000+08:00

Whattt??? Last updated in MARCH????

Been 4 months this blog being LEFT ALONE???

ishhh ishh ishhh.

But if im not wrong it went IDLE since i decided to privatised this blog.

Since then i neglected it cos it quite a hassle for me to update too.

LOL.

i think im gonna unprivatised real soon.

Ok back to life.

Today is 1st Ramadhan.

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak.

This year it falls on 1st Aug.

Wahh nicee eh.

Tomorow, im turning 23.

O.o.

Dah tua ehh. OOoops, matured laa eh. hehe.

Well, i hope Allah continue to bless and shower me with loads of love,

rahmah, pink of health, wealth.. And oso to open my heart to be a better muslimah.

Aminnn Insyaallah.

Its easy for one to change to be a bad one but

its really DIFFICULT to change for good.

May Allah continue to show me the way.

InsyaAllah.

*Eh, macam lagu Maher Zain pulak. HEEHEE.

teringat plak the way he sang during his concert, fuhh goosebump sey in the hall*

This year i dun think there's anything i look upon for my bday CAUSE.....

It's gonna turn to be a sad one.

Hubby is going for his ICT residential one.

ARGGHHH!!

For 4 DAYS okayyy!!

grrrrrr~

Bersahur n berbuka seorang diri laa aku this week bertemankan anak2..

But its okay, not that he wants. Its REQUIRED!

PASRAH sajer laa.

Now updating bout lil heroes.

Alhamdulilah, Rosly Erdanny is now diaper-free.

Its been few months already.

Thumbs up boy.

iloveyou!

He's a big boy now.

A very independant one YET a manja one too.

Rifat Erdayyan is 8months old.

Seems to be a hyper one too.

Very active.

Now he can sit on his own and even trying to stand already.

His very fast compared to Danny.
And now finally at 8 months 2 days, he mumbles ''mama'' after weeks of
mumbling ''apa'',''papa'',''baba''..
weee~

I have 2 smart boys, alhamdulillah, thank you Allah.
To Rifqy Erdanniel, Mama stil remembers and misses you.
Each time both Danny & Rifat playing together it hurts me badly,
thinking of you.
But i know, you must be very happy.

We all stil remembers and misses you.

Jz the other day we went to your 'place' to do some clean up.

Abang seems to be very helpful, he shower ur 'place' with lots of flowers and

even wants you to follow us home.

Rifat seems to be smiling all the way.

I guess you have come to visit ur adik right?

Well, you boys will reunite one fine day.

Al-fatihah to you lil angel.

Ok like finally, i've updated a lil bit in my blog.

YESSS..

New resolution for my 23rd la.

LOL.

ok, till here..

Here's some pictures to go along with this post.

Abg Rosly Erdanny

Rifat Erdayyan

Rifat Erdayyan & Rosly Erdanny

Papa Erzan & Abg Danny bonding moments

Papa Erzan & Rifat Erdayyan

Mama Nisha & Rifat Erdayyan

ErzaNisha's

*May Allah bless our family*

2011-03-09T14:21:00.002+08:00

yoooohooo~

Dear Diary.. theres sooo much for me to update

n save in here but i hav a lil time.. blearrgh~

Aft months of putting this it a side, today, i decide to ON it..

miss my lappy alots. hehe.

Been accesing internet either thru my HTC or Hubby's lappy n have been left my lappy neglected.

kesiaaaan lappyku~

LOL.

i still love u laa lappy beside me being a BUSY BEE.. heheeh.

Reality,

I M E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D!!!!!

YESSSSS.

Being a SAHM is NEVER easy..

Especially when u are handling kids n house alone with no helper.

GOSHHH!

Sometimes i wish i'v a helper.

Helper managing my...................... LAUNDRY!!!!!!

LOL.

Every Mon - Fri, i send and fetch Danny to school with Rifat.

i prefer staying in school for that 3 hours than stay at home cause, i tend to be late if i went home.

So early in the morning, Mr Husband will send us all to Danny's school and from there then i'l wait for Danny.

Sometimes i went to nearby shopping centres like IMM, take a stroll at the area near the mosque or even sit at the cafe in the mosque with my friend.

Make frens with the moms in Danny's school.

^^afterall, im still the yougest there.lol.^^

Now i have two other closefriend.

Sophie hu's son is in pre-nursery is a year older then me.

Both of us had the same HYPER kid.

!@#$%^&*()

The other closefriend of mine is Isha.. She's a mom of 2 girls.

They's gorgeous n niceee ladies.

My marshmellow baby is turning 4 months soon.

Time fliesss uh.

My marshmellow is all smiley n giggly n he even is frowny. LOL

he loves to frown. ;P

030311 was my 4th Wedding Anniversary with my darling Husband.

Alhamdulilah we made it to our 4th year *Insyaallah more to come*

Hubby surprised me with Coach n Rayban.

goshhh~

i wassss soooo surprised.

Thanks love.

ilysm!

*I'l stil love u even without this sayang!!*

And this is me on my 4th anniversary day

with my rebonded hair n Rayban specs.

Term 1 is ending soon..

cepattnya da school holiday..

Tomorow is parent-teacher meeting..

My first ever experience.

Will update on in soon.
Importantly, i'l don myself with this;

hehehe..

Till here,

Take Care, Assalamualaikum..

2011-02-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

Dang~
No post for 3wks.. duhhh~

Well theres nothing much to update..
Everday been the same routine..
Housewife is a non ending job..
Theres always work to b done.
No offs or leave, even if there is, the work load wil go double tripple.. blearghh~

One word to describe how m i now - TIRED! yess!!! Im DEAD TIRED!
If only i have a helper, it'l ease the burden. Haha. I nid one to do the laundry. Damn! My laundry load is troubling me! Grrr~

Btw, im sooo happy dat i managed to make frens w the moms of Dannys schoolmates.
*sounds v the mak2* hehehe.
Theres 2 dat im close with n both of them were a very niceee laydees.. cool!
Their kids gets along well w mine n vice versa!
Like finally, there are moms n kids out dere that reallyyy understand Danny n nvr look down on nor give faces to him. Alhamdulilah!
And oh, speaking of Danny.. Danny's a helpful boy in class.. wee~ Besides the cant-sit-still boy, he can actually listen well to his teachers.. i feel sooo happy on his progress. :) thumbs up boy!

2011-01-28T13:03:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah, Rifat Erdayyan is already 2months old today.. im blessed that he's blessed w pink of health.. Thanked Allah for everything..

Having Rifat w me is like a blessing.. i c myself in him.. like wat hub says, Rifat is the miniMe.. from the looks n the way he smile, frown, all is a duplicate me... finally,i c a photocopy me. Hehe.
Lets see if he stil look like me as he grow. :p

But, seeing Rifat too reminds me of my late Rifqy... *al-fateha*
For what has happen, i really REDHA. HE knows the best.

Rifqy Erdanniel, u'l always be in my heart..
And to........
Rosly Erdanny, u'l always be my baybee..

I love you alls my darling boys.. You'r my heart,my soul my EVERYTHING!

And to my precious blog cum diary, soo sory for leaving u w no entry for 2months.
Reason is : I NEVER TOUCH MY LAPPY N HAVE BEEN TOO OCCUPIED. :D

Anyways, its already 2011 ehh. Masyaallah, time flies soo fast n without me realising, its been 2years i live here,Redhill.. Woww!

My resolution this year is to fulfill last years which is......- to be on FULLY hijab.. i really hope i can make it this yr,insyaAllah... - being a BMW - "Better mom&muslimah&wife"..

I think this is all for now.. wil update as n when im free since now i can update it via my pone.

Till here,take cares.

2010-11-28T22:46:00.001+08:00

At 36weeks plus 6days,

Muhd Rifat Erdayyan B Erzan Eusope,

were borned to this world..

This SGH baby weighs 2845g and were delivered

@ 0721 hours on 28 Nov with two pushes..

It all started with contractions and a lil bloody show on 27 Nov

and i thot it wud jz be a false labour.

I can still endure the pain BUT my kanchiong Hubby insist to bring me to the hospy for checks despite me giving him assurance that its NOT the time yet.

-which i was wronged-

27 Nov, before heading to Danny's Orientation, i'v started having contractions.

But i keep strong and continue with the days plan.

After we settle with his school, we went to HDB hub to settle some paperworks then we had our breakfast cum lunch at Fork & Spoon before going to HDB showrooms to see the showflats that was offered. After viewing the showrooms, we went to Kiddy Palace at Toa Payoh Hub then we head to Forum's Toysrus.

YESSSSSSSSS. I had a lot of WALKING despite the contractions.

We went for a last min shopping for our darling prince, bought some baby stuffs including baby bassinet.. After Forum, we went home cause Hubby wanna fix the baby bassinet.

We had a nap before we head to SGH at around 7plus.

Upon reaching hospy, the gynaes do a checks on me and i was 3cm DILATED.

He then admitted me cox he says i might be giving birth anytime soon.

I was then placed in the ward and hubby send Danny to mama's place..

Hubby reached my ward at around 9plus close to 10 and was told to stay at the waiting area cox Hubby's not allowed in wards. I came soo sad.

Then, a dctor came to chk on me and i was already 4cm dilated.

She suggested me to be placed in the labour ward.

And so i was being brought to the labour ward at 11pm and Hubby is with me..!

Slowly, i progress in dilating to 5cm and 4am..

At 6am, i was 7cm dilated.

(Waterbag is still not burst yet)

Then suddenly at ard 7, i had the urge to push..

Gynaes, and nurses stopped me from pushing but i just cant

and at the 2nd push, gushhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

My waterbag burst by itself n POPpED,

Muhd Rifat Erdayyan was delivered.

ALHAMDULILAH!!

And u-noe-wat, i dont have to be stitched (incision).

Thats roughly wat i experienced..

This is indeed, a different experience from my other pregnancy.

Now, im praying for both me n Rifat to be home ASAP.

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-11-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

Been few weeks since my last post.

Where did i gone to??

Duhh~

Been quite busy laaa.... Oh well actually not really busy luhh but

more to LAZY to update this dull blog of mine.

LOL.

Just a lil update of myself, im now turning in my 37 weeks of pregnancy..

So far everythings well, my BP has has been normal,

no more breathless,

there isnt any protein in my urine

BUT

just this week i start with

..........................

ITCHYNESS W NO SPOTS!!!

argghhh!!

I thot i wont experience this, this time round, but i was wronged!

At this stage, this ITCHYNESS decides to APPEAR.

(During both Danny n Rifqy it started as early as 6months)

goshh!!

Superrrr itchy i tell u.

U'l find it funny knoing there isnt any SPOT at my bodies but i do hav the itchiness FEELINGS.

Sad BUT true.

Well, obviously this is sumthg got to do w the inside right?

Just like my previous pregnancy, this is due to my BLOOD.

Which up to date, i still dunoe wats the exact reason.

A team of gynae says its cause - im lack of vitamin K (if im nt wronged) and this causes my liver to not function properly during pregnancy hence the itchiness in my blood.

Another team of gynae says- i got jaundice during my pregnancy.

*scratch head*

i also dunoe which is true BUT all i know, once im in labour ward,

THESE itchiness will AUTOMATICALLY goes off..

FUNNY????

INDEED.

Currently, im jz ENDURING this itchyness with no treatment.

From what i experience, gynaes wont give ANY medicine cox there isnt any.

All they'l do is to INDUCE my labour besides giving me a jab a week before induce so as me not to lose blood during the delivering process..

Now, its either i wait till my nxt chkup OR straight away go to hospy n tell them im having this itchyness.

Buttttttttttttt. I dowanna be induce.

Buttttttttttttt...

This ITCYNESS is KILLING ME SOFTLY.

-__________-

i sooooooo buay tahan.

helpppppppppppppp..!!

On a happier note, tomorrow's gonna be a happy day for me insyaAllah (hopefully)..

It's Danny's school Orientation Cum Book Sale day..

wowwwwwwwwwww.!!

Criously this is superrr exciting!!!

I reali feel that time realii flies superrrr fast.

I had him 3 years ago, n today, soon, he'l start schooling already.

Oh Allah, m sooo thankful with ur creation. Feeling sooo blessed.

I hope Danny will succeed in his studies and be a good boy / man in future, insyaAllah amin.

ILOVEYOUDEARSON.

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-11-08T18:30:00.001+08:00

Time flies soo fast, didnt i realise, soon, it's turning 3yrs since i had HIM in my life.

His presence changed my life..

He's my EVERYTHING.

He's the reason to my EVERYDAY life.

He's the REASON how i managed to pull thru my 'DOWNS'.

I thanked Allah for this precious gift.

With Allah's will,

my boy has healthily grown up to a hyper-boy,

learnt how to walk, run, climb, talk etc..

Soon, he's going to school.

Only Allah knows how im feeeling..

2years 11months has past sooo fast.

My boy is no longer a baby BUT toddler..

(though his still a baby in my heart)

Im left with just few more weeks to the arrival of my other prince,

and as these days past,

my boy has been EXTRA hyper..

OMG!

Superrr tiring.!

But stil, im enjoying these moments with him.

I'l sit and talked to him telling him that no matter what,

i'l stil love him etc and he's reply wud be,

'Danny pon sayaaaaaaaang mama'

*as he hold my cheeks *

awww.... Dats the sweetest thing ever~

And i remember few days back, i cried

(looking at his 'ball' on his forehead cox of a big fall)

he wiped my tears and says,

'Mama tkmo cry k.. Danny tak sakit..'

How sweet of him??? Ya allah, he's really grown up.

Muhd Rosly Erdanny,

u're

my breath,

my life,

my heartbeat..

not to mention my HEADACHE,

my HEARTACHE,

my HEART-ATTACK,

my MIGRAINE,

my BODY-ACHE,

my TEARS & my JOYS..

He reali noes how to make me

LAUGH & SMILE

the minute he makes me MAD!!

♥... Danny, mama LOVES you alot.

More then myself.

Be a good boy okay sayang ...♥

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-11-04T14:37:00.000+08:00

♥CINTA KITA♥

Inilah aku apa adanya

Yang ingin membuatmu bahagia

Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna

Sesempurna cintaku padamu

Ini juga aku apa adanya

Yang ingin selalu di sampingmu

Ku tahu semua tiada yg sempurna

Di bawah kolong langit ini

Jalan kita masih panjang

Ku ingin kau selalu disini

Biar cinta kita tumbuh harum mewangi

Dan dunia menjadi saksinya

Untuk apa kita membuang-buang waktu

Dengan kata kata perpisahan

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga

Cinta kita yg telah kita bina

Walau hari terus berganti hari lagi

Cinta kita abadi selamanya

♥BILA CINTA (HILANGNYA CINTAMU)♥

Bila cinta kini tak lagi bermakna

Yang ku rasa kini hanyalah nestapa

Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu

Dulu kau tawarkan manisnya janjimu

Yang ku sambut itu dengan segenap hatiku

Hingga engkau pergi tinggalkanku

Hilangnya cintamu

Menusuk hatiku

Hinggaku memilih

Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu

Merobek jantungku

Hinggaku terjatuh

Dalam harapan

Ku sebut namamu

Di setiap doaku

Ku kan setia di mana tempatmu

Yang ku dapat hanyalah bayangmu

♥♥♥

I cant sleep last night so i youtube-d and

came across both of the songs above..

layan~

*feeling2*

LOL.

Btw, the 2nd song was OST Lagenda Budak Setan.

2010-11-04T14:03:00.000+08:00

I dunoe y but as every single day past, it seems to be getting more challenging for me..

I really hope for more patience and strength in goin thru these days..

* D.E.P.R.E.S.S.E.D*

Im jz counting down the weeks to the arrival of my prince but there seems to be 'alot'

of thoughts n feelings coming in.

^MIXED FEELINGS^ - yes.

Im happy for this arrival YET im scared too..

*P.A.R.A.N.O.I.D*

Ya Allah, please give me the strength to overcome this mixed emotion in me.

I really hope to be strong in handling these feelings..

And i noe, its never gonna b easy.

No one will or can understand this feelings in me.. ;((

2010-10-27T16:34:00.002+08:00

Saat Terakhir

Tak pernah terpikir olehku

Tak sedikitpun ku bayangkan

Kau akan pergi tinggalkan kusendiri
(You left us ALL)

Begitu sulit kubayangkan

Begitu sakit ku rasakan

Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

Dibawah batu nisan kini

Kau telah sandarkan

Kasih sayang kamu begitu dalam

sungguh ku tak sanggup

Ini terjadi karna ku sangat cinta

Inilah saat terakhirku melihat kamu

Jatuh air mataku menangis pilu

Hanya mampu ucapkan

Selamat jalan kasih

Satu jam saja kutelah bisa cintai
(i've LOVED u since the day u'r in me)

kamu kamu kamu di hatiku

Namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup
(Will never ever forgets u)

Satu jam saja kutelah bisa sayangi kamu... di hatiku

Namun bagiku melupaknmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup

di nanti ku......

This song is dedicated to my precious son,

Muhd Rifqy Erdanniel..

This song and also Terlalu Istimewa by Adibah Noor meant alot to me..

Though its been 15months since my precious boy left me, STILL,

he's in my heart and never a day he is forgotten.

I still remember his cries,

smiles n laughter..

Delivered @ 37weeks, 130509*1750hrs*2905

Well, not just me alone hu still have him in my heart,

even my Danny STILL remember his younger bro.

Each time he talks of his own photo, he'l surely ask me for Rifqy's.

Nevertheless, im very sure Rifqy is happy upthere w the loved ones.

I'l never forget u dear son..

U'll forever be my baby..

And.....

I thanked Allah for the upcoming replacement..

*Alhamdulilah*

*****

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-10-25T08:26:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people..

If they care, they’ll notice..

If they don’t, you know where you stand...

*****

Sometimes the people whom we've known for only

a short amount of time have a BIGGER impact on us

than those we've known forever...

*****

Weekends just end.

And i sooo hate it.

IF only weekends are longer.

duhhh~ dream on.

Nevertheless, syukur alhamdulillah, at least there's quality time spent.

Saturday was far the greatest of the month.

hehe.

I sneaked outta house early in the morning for my baking class without waking Hubby nor Danny up.

I manage to reach the place on time by train and bus.

Yesss, just me alone.

Felt like years since i last walk alone.. ;P

Hubby insist on sending me hence i sneaked out while he's stil sleeping.

I dowan him and Danny to wake up early JUST to send me there cox its far away (Simei), pity them to have waste the time sending me, i rather be alone then having them to wait for me etc..

I even went back home alone. Hehe.

And to my surprised, when i reached home, my house is sooo well-maintained..;P

Hubby had vacuum, mop, do the laundry, wash the toilets, the fans etc.

Purrrfectly done.

I was sooo blessed. He made a good house husband.

And im soooooo proud of him.

Was quite surprised that he managed to do all the housechores despite Danny being awake.

ILOVEYOUMRERZAN!!!!

Okayys , i think dats bout it.

Sadly, nothing else is interesting on that Saturday.

Cause seems there's nothing much at the chalet. ;(

Then on Sunday, we spent the quality time at home and only went out at the evening.

To where???

To......................

everywhere ..

LOL.

Hubby just drive up all the wayy to

Upper Pierce Reservoir, then to Mandai, to Bottle Tree Park

to where else uhh? hmmmm.

Quite a few places uh but

we didnt even went out, just in the van. hehe.

And we end the day by having Roasta (dunnoe if i get the name right) KFC.

Watever it is, i really am thankful to have my Hubby in my life.

I sooo appreciate the love he gave me.

And i JUST realise something.

Once u'v got married,

NO ONE (exclude ur parents) else will be a IMPACT in ur life BUT

ur Husband and children.

*People will no longer treat u like they used to. Wich for dunoe what reasons.*

Oh well, from now on, i so am gonna PUT it in mind.

People wanna 'draw' lines with me, and i too wil do the same.

Never make a person your main priority
when to them you are just an option.

*****

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-10-21T16:23:00.000+08:00

Im superr duper happy cos i found my 'lost' friend back again.

LOL.

somehow we lost contact..

But alhamdulilah, we found each other back again in ..............

TWITTER.

HEHEHE..

i was sooo shocked receiving a tweet w her name..

I was like, AM I SEEING THE RIGHT NAME...???

!@#$%^&*()

i came extremely excited that i quickly on my lappy to c her profile pic..

Indeed, i was right.

It was her.

yabedabedoooo~

We exchanged numbers and texted each other.

N yesss Elyn, me too dowana lose you again.

If you'v been following my blog, u'l noe wich Elyn im toking about.

*The gorgeous mommy of a cute lil princess - Laiqah Shaista.*

*****

By the way, im now trying to teach Danny to ditch the nappy..

I dunnoe if he's really am ready for these but IF i were to see physically, i think he's really ready for it.

He now can already talk and so i thot i wud be easy enuff to train him.

Moreover he's turning 3 soon and will be goin to school next year.

*Anyways, i dont trained him by the portable potty.. I trained him straight to the toilet,with the training seats.*

Goodness! I had a hard time i tell you.

I soooo need the patience.. !!!!!!!

My bad for expecting tooo much from him.

Oh well cause I thot this process is easy n wil take him for bout a day or two to get used to it

BUT i was WRONG!!!

He just dowana tell me IF he needs the toilet.

He'l only tell me AFTER he does it in his washable pull-up pants!! grrr~

Luckily he didnt make the big business.

Each time when i ask if he wants to go to the loo, he'l say NO.

But when i drag him in, he'l shoot in the bowl ..

haissshhh~

i sooooo hope he cant do it in just a day of training..

i cant tahan the washing each time he pees at those unnessary places.

With me now the bulging tummy and pain here and there,

i really cant cope having to 'run here and there' monitoring any 'leakage' of him..

But i really need to ditch the nappy from him.

Its about time.

Im due very soon, if i were to train him when baby's out, it'l be a BIGGER hassle for me.

Dannyboy, pls.... NO DIAPER sayang.. U've grown up alreadyy laa boy...

I heard people saying Boys take longer to potty train..??

Ohhh Nooooooooooo then.

Danny, prove me wrong will you..?

goshhhhhhh~

*****

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-10-19T15:48:00.000+08:00

I think its true luhh..

iv gone insane.

LOL.

Just a day after i post my recent entry , i read it back again..

And i actually LAUGHED.

Yess. I laughed COX.............

Hubby was actually am OK with me.

Its jz me.

crazyyy~

INDEED.

I donoe wats with me that one moment,

i jz feel like crying,

another moment feel like laughing,

another moment feel like screaming..

duhhhh~~

But watever it is, i can see and say that Hubby's been a good Husband and a good dad.

I cant imagine life without him NOR Danny.

I love you both to the max and even LOVE my darling Qyqy and this upcoming one.

No wonder im bless with boys in my life.

Cause..................

i is very manja..:P and surely

i'l be the ROSES among the thorns..

And FOREVER i'l be their princess at heart...

awwww~

Thanked Allah for these VIP ''MENS''..

Hubby's been very understanding towards me

throughout my EMOTIONAL period..

And i cudnt ask for more.

I soooo am thankful to have this loving and caring Hubby.

**Mind my rudeness, and attitudeness towards u ehh darling..:P**

I'l promise to be the bestest wife for you..

xoxo.

Haiyyooooo.. C laa i become EMO again.

duhh~

Felt like tearing laa pulak.

goshhhh..

*I hope i dont need any ''psycology'' or even counselling treatment uh.*

I think this might be due to my pregnancy luhh.

LOL.

macam macam laaaah~

**Baby cepat keluar ok, with these emotionS, mama think mama's going crazy already.**

LOLs.

Okayy luhh i think i'l end my entry here.

Oh btw, as i'v said, last weekend i had a diaper n cake order ..

will upload the pics real soon.

I jz changed HP laa and still in DISCOVERY mood..

LOL.

Anyways, Danny's running a temperature.

All out of sudden he had fever.. 39.9. and it shocked me..

Im monitoring him and

if the fever jz wont subside after few rounds of showering n medicine,

i'l bring him straight to KK.

I is very worry. I is very stress. I is cant bear seeing him in pain.. ~

*talking crap laa plakk*

*yakkkkdushhh to me*

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-10-13T15:34:00.005+08:00

Whats happening in me has been a question mark to myself.

Been feeling super stress up and i just feel like being all alone.

YESSS just alone.

Not only that, now i feel that there's isnt any LOVE between us.

We may have no problems BUT i just feel that there is a problem with US.

YOU may say i'v got insane, INDEED i m.

But i dunnoe why i'v been feeling this way.

Maybe cox of the STRESS in me?

Or maybe its TRUE,

there isnt any LOVE in the air anymore?

I just dunoe how to express these feelings, but i really do know what im LACK with.

I just need LOVE & ATTENTIONS.

Yessss, u've neglected me NOT,

u gave me everything u can,

BUT somehow,

u forgot something.

''Even the most loving relationship can become stagnant after awhile,

especially when partners start taking each other for granted.''

I think, the most romantic gift is

something that allows us to deepen our love for each other

because while it's easy to fall in love,

it's much harder to sustain it,

ESPECIALLY

as the challenges of family,

juggling finances, career

and children

tend to drive a wedge between two people who used to be wild about each other.

Remember,

Love never dies a natural death.

It dies because we dont know how to replenish its source.

It dies of blindness and errors and betrayal.

It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

And for our case, i just feel that we'r LACK of time for each other.

Staying together and keeping things fresh and strong,

takes skill..

And i really think, we dont have that SKILL.

N now...

I'd just wanna run far away from you,

but if you didnt come back and find me..

i would die......

You know its true, everything i do, i do it for you......

Last but not least,

LOVE is the master key which opens the gates of HAPPINESS..

AND

the most important thing a FATHER can do for his CHILDREN

is to LOVE their MOTHER.

So my love, i sooo hope with me letting all out here, u wud understand me.

Hence you see the changes in me this few days.

I knew, i'v been ignorant to you and i've made LESS communication between us..
I myself dunnoe why dis is happening..
And dunnoe wats with me dat i dont feel like talking to you..
*It's like, i dont want you, but, i need you.*
crazy me~

I hope you can make me feel better in any ways.

Thanks LOVE.

♥♥♥♥♥

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;

the courtship should not end

with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,

but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation

and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience,

understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,

dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

♥ERZANISHA♥
Met back in 2004..
Established Since; 080305
Officially legalised; 030307

2010-10-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

Im sure gonna love this week.

Cause..........................

it'l surely b a busy week for me..

Heehee..

Alhamdulilah, i just receive an order of a Birthday Cake and a Diaper Cake.

A friend i knew since 2006. From Hubby's friend, to mine made the order..

Though this is last minute, im willing to take it as a challenge.

InsyaAllah will try to give her the very best i can.

Diaper cake shud be ready by tonight. Yessss. Tonight.

Now im staring in the space finding for ideas.

hehehe..

And by the way, i'v never ever met her inperson NOR even had any phone conversation with her.

So, later meet up, it'l be the very first one.

** Die laa .. i veryy shy laaa.. ;P **

Hope i can hide my shyNESS and can appear myself as one bubbly laydee..

You noe laa, first impression counts..

i donwan pple to judge me as 'sombong' or sumthg..

-__-

Oraits enuff of me blabbering of the boring-NESS in me.

LOL.

Right now, all i think of is........................

When will i deliver my baby....???

Chett~

No luhhh..

Actually im thinking of where can i get cheap wardrobe and bed for my Danny.

hmmm...

He's been asking for a new bed since last week. And i feel so bad cos i'v yet to find one.

Duhhh~

And by the way..........

is it the weather or its just me feeling superr duperrr HOT..

OMG!! Both fans are ON me alone n

on the highest speed

yet i still sweat and all WET..

** Pity Hubby & Danny got to share a fan .. hehe.. **

^ My house is small but we have like 7 fans altogether. :P ^

Ok ...

Let me end my entry here.

Am feeling superrr duper hot and i felt like having my 3rd shower for the day.

GOSHHHH~

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-10-08T00:02:00.005+08:00

Alhamdulillah,

despite myself been not feeling well, my baby in me is in VERY good 'shape.'

Doctr says baby's heart rate is excellent and he's been active.

Thats a good sign for me.

Though my BP is still high, and
there's still protein in my urine,

for as long as baby is OK, i shudnt be worry too much.

Doctr advise me to jz monitor my condition and if im suffering from any
gastric-pain like, vomitting, severe headache, or any 'funny' feelings,
i need to rush myself to labour ward..

I was soo blessed to hear baby is well.
I really am soo worried for my baby.

I just think that, let just me, myself
being sick but not my child.

A child is soo precious to me that
i dont mind losing myself for their sake.

I'l surely will save my child's life then mine.

*But yea, im not prepared to leave the world yet with me 'bringing/having' nothing to face HIM*
-__-

Nevertheless, i soo am looking forward
for my next chkup which will be in

3weeks time..
And dats when i'l get to see my baby again,
as there'l be another scanning...

yeehaaa~

By then i wud be in my 32weeks..

^woaahhh~ Time flies by sooo fast uhh..Felt like its just weeks back dat i got pregnant.cheeyyy! ^

*****

I think thats all for now.

Nothing much to update..

Till here,

Take Care.

P.S: I JUST DELETED MY CHATBOX TAGBOARD
DUE TO SOME VIRUS.
SHUD YOU WANNA LEAVE ANY COMMENT,
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ANY,
AT THE COMMENT BOX WHICH CAN BE FOUND
AT EVERY END OF MY ENTRY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

2010-10-06T15:26:00.000+08:00

Just exactly a week ago, i was admitted to SGH..

All cause i show signs of pre-eclampsia..

Dat is - High blood pressure & protein in urine..

That day was my normal prenatal appoinment and didnt i expect i'l get admitted.

-_-

Doctor discover my high blood pressure was beyond normal and there's protein in my urine hence they need to do further test and to monitor my blood pressure and levels of protein in my urine - in which i've to actually keep my urine in the bottle for 24hours for them to make the test...ewwww.

They even took my blood tests and do some ultrasound scans.

*The ultrasound scans is the very best part of my stay in hospy*

I cant sleep on that very night as i kept thinking of my Hubby & Son.

And i remember crying myself all out.

I just cant bear having to be apart with Danny..

^I dunnoe how it'l be when im gonna deliver and get admitted again..^

Oh btw, wat really stress me on my admission day was when one of the nurses told Hubby i might get induced and

i'll have my baby born by caesarean. ~!@#$%^&*())_+

I got superrrr stress and my high blood straight away shoot up.

LOL.

But when i google thru the net, i found out that, that wud only happen on SEVERE pre-eclampsia.

Bloody nurse!! Hubby says she sounded soo CONFIRMED dat hubby fought back and says NEVER to ops me without prior agreement. Haiyaa.. Nurses nowadaes are terrible (doctors dont make a big fuss but nurses did. duhh),

they'l just scare you and make things much more complicated.

Just like how they ANYHOW poke me during the blood test that i got myself a BIG blue/black/purplish bruises out of it.
PISSED.
*Even till now, the bruises are still clear and when i went out, pple kept asking wats with it as if i was being abused*
Here's the picture of it.

Its not really clear here. But in real life, it look superrrr duperr terrible.

By the way, on to my everyday progress, so far alhamdulilah, Baby's been actively active in me.
He's been superrr active and i think his actually telling me that he's perfectly fine inside..
LOL.
I too cant wait for his arrival just as much as how Danny's been asking for him..
Nevertheless, i sooo hope everything will go just fine.
Tomorrow's my prenatal chk-up again, i hope i hear good news from the doctor.
InsyaAllah.
By the way, remember above i did mention of the best part during my stay in the hospital?
Well, its bout the ultrascan.
This is far to my 4th pregnancy BUT this is my very FIRST time seeing the 3D image of my baby while IN tummy.
I wass soooo happy to have seen a CLEAR image FACE of my darling baby in me.
And i tell you, i really see my baby features and this baby has a lil resemblance to both his brothers.
awwwwwww..
The sonographer was even happy for herself and said, 'Soo good ah me.. Eh, ur baby sure will be cute one.'
LOL.
Sweetnesss...
During the scan, my baby was sucking his thumbs as well as playing with his mouth - Open n Close.
It wasss sooo cute dat i jz feel like hugging n kissing him.
Ok ok enuff. Talking bout it makes me feels sooo eager to welcome his arrival.
weeee~
Im counting the days to having contractions..
heehe..

Oh ya.. Meanwhile, i just attend bake birthday cake class and hereby i *proudly* announced,
i now do take in Birthday cake orders.
InsyaAllah.
Do spread the news around yar.
And anyways, i'l try to do the cake as how u want it to be customised as and at your very own budget.
Say you want a cake at 30dollars, i'll try to bake it and do it as $30 exclusively for you insyaAllah.
For now, these are the cakes that i'v made, insyaAllah more to come.

Besides birthday cakes, i do take in cupcakes orders too.

Alrightt, i guess thats all for today's entry. Meet again soon.

Till Here,
Take Care.

*Im still thinking shud i post the 3D image of my darling baby. hmmmmm...*

2010-09-23T03:28:00.004+08:00

Been having HATERS in FB lately..

Seen them posting my names at their FB n i c no reason to it.
Plus there's even a few peeps tryina add me and i can see mainly they'r from THEIR friend list so shud i call them stalkers?
Hmmmm.. For now, I jz had to becareful in accepting any friend requests..

And bcos of them, i dont have the urge to post my pics in FB yet..

Mainly cos of my condition, im expecting and i DONT WISH people to curse n swear me.

But my bro jz made a step forward by clearing the 'misunderstanding' to this someone n to my surprise this person cud actually listen to my bro. haha.

Well, they'r jz 'nak step macam paham', skali aje my bro sound then they 'sejuk' oready.

heheh.

And i even got shocked when this girl admit her sister was the bad-tempered one n she dont know much stories BUT her sister was the one hu make a big fuss out of it hence she gotta follow wat her sister instruct.

Eg- Posting those 'shits' in FB ,she says that during those period, her sister was nxt to her n had asked her to post these n that. OMG! i cant belive such sister does exist. !@#$%^&

But wateva it is, in all. I still treat this as inmature adults.

IF u'r an adult, u wont be having such cruel thots n attitudes towards others.. m i right??

Moreover there's NO faults done by other party but jz from u.

GOSHH.

ashamed acts!

Nevertheless, let them be. I cant be bothered with it anymore.

Say wat u wanna say, u hurt me NOT.

I had enuf of ur craps babe..

*****

I just encoutered the breathless & blackout episode ~~again~~.

This time it realii shocked me as i was jz lying on my bed playing w my hp when suddenly my vision came darker n darker n i felt superrrr restless that i dropped my hp.. Hubby was nxt to my left and Danny on my right. Hubby rubbed me and wanted to bring me to hospital but i stopped him and says im fine.

Lucky this time round it was jz for few mins.

Now im super worried if this episode will visit me again when im all alone w Danny.

Oh Allah, you noe the best.

Please grant me w the bestest health..

With this, i hope i cud deliver asap so i'l not worry for this episode to come

BUT

knoing my baby is not in full-term yet, fret not, i dowan that to happen too.

Let nature takes its course, may baby grow healthy and TIME PASS BY QUICKLY. :p

My cousin hu's pregnant has experienced this episode too and she got herself admitted..

Lucky her, there's no child to look after except in tummy wheares IF i were to get admitted i'l be superrrr get worried for my Danny.

Haix.

Hope i'l jz got admit only on the day my baby pops out.

InsyaAllah.

*i wanted to post this pic of me to my FB acct but knoing that freak will surely curse n swear me, bugs me not to. :(*

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-09-21T01:33:00.001+08:00

The third trimester will start very soon..

And to welcomed myself to the third trimester, i took some shots of me with my tummy..

Hubby being the cameraman, we camwhore some shots.

Heehe.. Feeling2 photoshoot w no make-ups touch (just the eyebrow)..~

♥♥♥

I'm loving and enjoying every single moment of my pregnancy..

And a lil excited to the arrival of my hero.

So far, alhamdulilah, baby's been kicking very hard and have been very active.

I soooo m loving the moments when i feel the movement of my baby..

N even felt sooo blessed when there's response by him when i touch my tummy.

ahhhhh~

Mummies noes this feelings right?

BESTT!

Hopefully everything will go smoothly and i pray the bestest health for him, insyaAllah.

My nxt chk-up will be at end of month, 29 Sept when im exactly at my 29weeks..

29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 ...? Or will i hafta wait till 40 wks?

hmmm...

let's wait n see..

hehehehehe..

P.s. Baby's now in awkward position.. Feel sooo funneh.. heehehee..

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-09-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

Some of my Raya 2010 pickhers..

Hubby & Wifey

ErzaNisha's

Alkaff's

Eusope's

Nisha's

Now it's already 2nd week of Syawal and so far it has been ok2..

My grandad been admitted in the ward for a week since the 3rd of Syawal and our family had spent more time visiting him in hospital rather then go jalan raya. But alhamdulilah, he's been discharged and had already rest at home since Saturday.

He's left 1st toe got amputated.. -_-

Now he's left with just 8 toes as both sides of 1st toes were gone.

All due to infections from diabetes. He's right toe was amputated years back.

Well, i hope my Habib is strong with the test Allah given him. In all, all of us hopes the very best for him.

InsyaAllah.

Besides overcoming the 'stress' from habib's condition, our family were oso 'greated' with a veryyy pathetic situation.

All thanks to that blardyy fellow.

Buat maluuu kaum wanita ajerrr... grrrrr~

I dunnoe whatz wrong with her that she can EASILY put werds in OUR mouths and

many2 unsangkarable acts that she put.

I just felt ashamed if i were her. All i can say is, she's soooo daring to have scold badwords to our generations, the alkaff, and she even got the cheeks to talk bad of us WHEREAS there's NOTHING wrong with us.

She's the one hu's at fault and dont even DARE to admit BUT point it back to us.

Aint it ashamed?

My goodness.

Y is she soooo envy of us??? Y??? i really dunnoe y. grr.

Whatever it is, i hope the very best for her..

Allah is great.

Nevertheless, i really hope my cousin can move on without HER.

And i hope he'l meet someone WAY better than this shameless LADY.

U see, WE didnt lose ANYTHING, but herself??

She lost her BF, and she even lost her own dignity.

May she find her way out from these..

AHHHH! Enuff of this pathetic lady.

Anyways, i've gained sooooo much weight.

Before, my weight during all checkup DID NOT increase at all but after 1st Sept, i can see and say that i really gained.

My hubby was soooo happy that i gained. Duhhh~

Even my MIL says its okay to gain. LOL.

Well, for me.. i just hope my baby is healthy.

Doesnt matter how much he weighs as long, he's fit is my main concern.

posing with my 7months tummy before leaving the hse..

On the 3rd day Raya-ing..;))

I think i'm running out of idea plus im now in a veryyyyyy ANGRYYY mode.
JUST received a news that, that blardyyy lady's sister post out something bad bout my cousin in her FB and this time round, this fellow CLEARLY state my cousin name out n BADMOUTHED her by saying my cousin's selling her body on FB.
f***** arr this bitch!
Create stories again n again...
Sesungguhnya menfitnah adalah DOSA BESARR!!!!

Till Here,

Take Care.

Ps. I miss chatting with my darling gurlfriend ♥ibu aidah..
i hope she and family is enjoying Raya and in pink of health..

2010-09-18T01:57:00.000+08:00

Currently, im in ANGRY state.

OF cors i m n its not only me but the wholee family of ALKAFF..

grrrrrrrrr~

This fellow is making a MESS in the family and all i can say is she got NO GUTS at all.

No point in talking with this kindda pest if she herself is those cant be bothered type.

MEREPEK TO THE MAXX..

ADA KE PATUT,SHE MAKI HAMUN ME WHEREAS IN THE FIRST PLACE MY INTENTIONS IS TO SETTLE THINGS OUT??????? AND EVEN SAYS I BIADAP, I MAKE UP STORIES, I PENGECUT, I MACAM2 LAAAAAAA..

AND THE MOST WORST PART IS WHEN SHE MAKI ME PUKIMAK!!!!

~!@#$%^&*()

ALL OF MY FAMILY REALLLYYYYY CANT ACCEPT DAT..

But wateva it is, AKHIR KATA, we DID NOT LOSE ANYTHING..

N LUCKY WE DIDNT MEET HER UNDER THE VOID DECK OR I THINK I WONT BE HERE BLOGGING BUT IN THE POLICE STATION KENE INTERROGATE ... LOL.

Well, i HOPE she'l realise ALL the mistakes and AT LEAST i really hope she cud ask FORGIVENESS from my LOVELY MOM whom she already MAKI.... grrrrrrrrrrr~
She's jz sooooo daring that she can even be rude to my other aunty.
YA ALLAHHH!!
SALAH ORANG LUHHHH GIRL.
And at the end of it, she can even call me SUNDAL.
KLAKARRRR PE DIA...???
She's reflecting to herself seyy..
mulut lancang sangat, senang2 keluarkan kata2 kesat..
duhhhhhhhhh~
Wateve it is, i DONT wish to continue the 'scene' w her knoing her characters, tk GUNE diajak bbl.
HAHAHAHA.
All i can say, she's jz simply KEKURANGAN KASIH SAYANG..
haix.
kesiannn.
YA ALLAH, JAUHKAN LAH KAMI DAN ANAK2 KAMI DARI SIFAT2 KEJI SEDEMIKIAN..
AMIN.

2010-09-09T02:03:00.005+08:00

Oaaah..~

Guess its been a week since i last make an entry.

Ahah.

So what was last week up to?

Well.. Basically we were BUSY shopping..

Hmm. Not really a BIG shopping but just a lil here and there in preparing for Aidilfitri.

Everything's settled, alhamdulilah.

This year, i dont really spent much for myself.

I dont feel there's a need for that since im with 'tummy' even IF i were to spent much it'l gonna be a waste.

Like example: IF i bought few pairs of BAJU, i might only need it DURING im pregnant

and i cant possibly be pregnant every now and then right?

IF i were to bought EXPENSIVE shoes, it'l gonna b a waste, as it will only last me during this pregnant moments cos of sizing.

Hence, i settle down with a PINK arabian Jalabeya wich i can oso wear it IF im not pregnant

(save isnt it? THOUGH it cost quite a BOOM uh)

a Charles & Keith Wedges which is not EXPENSIVE at all.

AND

I even gonna 'recyle' last year's handbag.

My PARIS HILTON bag look damn NEW.

(Of cors luh i onli use it during Raya last year and then kept it in the dustbag till NOW.)

haha.

I even gonna 'recyle' two other baju SINCE i hardly wears them cox it was big

(wen it was worn during unPREGNANT moments. LOL)

See, a very BIG save up indeed.

:))

Besides busy shopping and outings,

i have been busy battling with my own crib.

Duuuhh~

Being a FULLTIME 7months preggy housewife

and a mummy to a super HYPERactive son is

SERIOUSLY tiring..

Initially i felt like giving up and dowana clean the house and
dowana do any kuih or cakes..

Y SOO ???

Cause............

This mischevious boy of mine will make a BIG MESS to wateva that i've cleaned up.

Like example : When im done arranging the pillows, he'l help me up with 'RE-ARRANGING'..

When i just make the bed, he'l climb up and make it 'back'.....

and the list goes on............................

Stress isit it??

VERY.

And imagine, when im busy in the kitchen doin my cookies etc, he too been extremely BUSY doin his 'projects'..

OMG~

These day's really been driving me up the wall.

Butttt....

Alhamdulilah, i managed to get EVERYTHING settled yesterday, Wednesday.

My crib is ready for RAYA. LOL.

And this year, i only manage to make 3types of Kuihs and 2 type of cakes in just 1 and a half day time..

(Ok laaa better then nothing right?? ;P)

By the way, now... what worries me is.........................

DANNY..

I've been thinking how will my son behave at people's crib when we go visiting during this raya.

i'v been worrying for his 'hyperNESS'..
Futhermore, these days his been ''extremely WELL'' behave.. This is indeed normal as im due soon hence he shows his 'manjaNESS' towards all of us.. ;((
*i remember, during this stage of my 2nd pregnancy, he too been behaving this way *

IF onli i have some magic spells that can make my son sit still at EVERY single house that we'r goin..

Oh Allah, please give me n hubby the strength to overcome Danny's hyperNESS.

Lately, he's been super mischevious.

We know and understand that he's just seeking for attention,

but will people around us understand that???

Will they not gave us 'looks' ???

Will they not hate him??

Will they not talk bad of him?????

Will they?

Oh well, im just tooooo sad when people gave those looks n also scold kids like Danny.

C'mon, its not ME who taught Danny to be hyper, its just in HIM.

haiz.

These people just don understand with kids behaviour.
(wait till u have one LIKE him)

Sometimes, when i get irritated with people's judgement,

i'l PURPOSELY let it out to Danny so THEY'L see n realise how angry i was towards THEM...

BUT too bad, they didnt see and

they actually did back to my son...

Mind you people, when i scold my son or even beat him,

HE'S my son AFTERALL and im the one hu handles him,

(though i beat him , i'l say sorry n stuffs when im with him at night, but did u????? NOOOOOOO.)

who r u to 'touch' him and hu gave you the right to shout at him???

I dont mind IF u wanna do that to him but NOT at this age and what had he really done wrong..?
Its okay with just a 'teguran' to him and NOT with ur freaking shitty face.. ~!@#$%^&*()
You think i want n like him misBEHAVING???? grrrrr~~

He's just 2plus and u cant control a 2yr old toddler????
Please la, slowly, he'l change insyaallah. Now he's just giving his cranky behaviour as his seeking attention..
kan dia nak dpt adik..thats part of the reason.

All i can say is, he's those HYPER type of toddler hence the mischevious in him.

UNDERSTANDDD?????

**Muhd Rosly Erdanny, please grow up to be a good boy

and prove these people wrong ok sayang?

Promise mama n papa that you'r gonna behave the moment mama delivered..

No matter what people wanna judge you, mama will forever be with you till my last breath,insyaAllah.

Thank you sayang for the joys and pains.. Mama hearts you alot. Muackss..**

Okaysss DONE with my 'coretan hati..'

LOL.

wats dat uh? correct ornot? heeehe.

Lets continue abit more before i end this entry.

Hmmmm..

Ramadhan's leaving us, just a day LEFT.

Oh goshhh~

Time flies soooo fast. Hopefully, we'l able to meet next Ramadhan insyaallah.

Muadda` Ya Ramadhan `audata `alaina bil ghufraan.

In this, i wanna wish,

Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemenangan - Hari Raya Aidilfitri..

Maaf Zahir dan batin..

Zahir - Physically & Batin - Emotionally..

hehehehe..;))

Till, here.

Take Care.

2010-08-26T01:39:00.004+08:00

I dunnoe if its just me or its the pre-natal depression
(is there suchha ting??)

hmm....

watever it is..!
i dunnoe y this days, i'v been feeling emo..

~~^emoshit^~~

grrr~

wats happening to me???

GOSSHHH!

One moment, i felt happy,

One moment, i felt sad,

One moment, i felt like crying,

One moment, i felt like jumping for joy.

CRAZY??

Indeed.

This days, i just feel that EVERYONE around me doesnt love me including my hubby..

I even asked him if he still loves me.
My feelings says that people theyre just putting on ACTS on me.
duhhhh.

-__-

Seriously, i feel that everyone around me dont NEED & LOVE me anymore,
and I felt that,
there wont be any diffrence shud i leave this world one day..
Perhaps, i guess people will forget me n wont even have me in their minds.

sob sob.
Im just a nuisance that only gives others troubles.

Is it TRUEEEEE?????

AM I??? AM I???

???????????

OMG.

I WANNA FLY UP HIGH.........

I WANNA RUN TO A FAR FAR AWAY LAND.........

I WANNA BE ALONEEEE......
but cannot, i'l be missing my son..;P

GGGGRRRRRRRR...!!!!

*****

OH WELL....

THIS is LIFE.

Life is full of challenges.

And always will have CHALLENGE.

Never a day, u'l never be challenge.

In all,

CHALLENGE, CHALLENGED..

*IGNORE this post. I've blabbered just CRAPS. lol.*

2010-08-24T01:36:00.002+08:00

I think my blog is collecting dust..

And i think the amount is just the same as those ''dust'' that i need to revamp at my crib.

LOL.

Today it's already 13 Ramadhan and i can say that it has past veryyy quickly..

Been spending quality time with both side of my families.

I really felt blessed having an understanding, loving n caring husband

hu loves my mom just like how he love his.

I really thanked Allah for him and i osoo thanked Hubby for loving my beloved mama.

The more u'l love mama, the more i'l love u k sayang...*bluekz*

By the way, as of now.. We've yet to settle down with any Hari Raya Clothings..

This year, im not gonna sew any, cox i had no confidence with myself being the up n downs of my health conditions and the super hyperactive darling son of mine..I gotta forgo the designs that i had in mind, n i haveta settle down with those readymade suit that suits me.. Hopefully i'l get something nice that suits my bulging cute tummy.. hehe.

We might settle down with colour combination of Grey & Pink on the 1st day and probably Purple on the 2nd and as extras, we might hunting for PINK&WHITE cos Danny got himself Ralph Lauren Tee ''those like abang2'' shirt from my mama..

But all these is just wat i have on mind for now, to be confirmed on the shopping day.

LOL.

*I wanna find a match pair of PINK shoes & PINK handbags for myself*

In all, i just cant wait to revamp my crib.. hehe..

Thats the most important of all.

I dunnoe y but i love to see my crib look good even if there's no visitors.. hehe...

Anyways, im now at my 23weeks pregnant and so far alhamdulilah, baby's been kicking vigorously and im loving every single moment of it.

Thanked Allah for this chances.

I hope my baby will be in the bestest health now n forever insyaAllah.

By the way, lately, i've been having migraine.. This is my first time encountering it for like many2 days and usually after taking panadol, it'l relieve me but this time, NO.

I hope its just normal since im lack of sleep.

Hmm.

Nevertheless, may Allah shower me with the pink of health insyaAllah.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-08-05T01:44:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah....~

All praises to Allah..

Today's checkup is all fine.

Baby's fine n in good position too..

The best part is, i'l be expecting an EXPECTED..

As i expected, im actually carrying a

........

...................

..............

......

Alhamdulillah, my baby is fine in me..

Im sooo happy seeing him..

During the 30mins scans, my baby is in 'tiarap' postition all the way...

aawww.. so cute..

*i'l upload the pic soon*

Nevertheless, im sooo thankful cox baby is in good health etc.

Everything is normal and thats wat i'v owaes asked for.

Now im jz counting the days till he's borned.

*Thankful cox this will be a replacement of my darling baybee Rifqy Erdanniel*

Thank you Allah.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-08-03T02:48:00.001+08:00

the ice-cream cake w the smoke machine effects.. LOL

this is just half of the foods, there's more hidden.......

cake cutting ceremony. LOL.

kene sabo to the maxx...Lucky its an ice-cream cake.. hehe..

the blood..

Hubby & the FAT preggy me.

Mama with the model G tk menjadi.. LOL.

Bday kiss n gift from my beloved mama..iloveuma..

US except abah n Redha..

the mischievous BOYS.

the kazens

The complete family

the memorable kiss... awww... switness..

I was sooo SPEECHLESS & happy upon the surprise arrival of my mama,abah, my siblings, & both lovely cousin of mine,Hardy&Isha to celebrate my 22nd BirdDay at my crib on Sunday...

I reallly thanked them veri much for the lovely surprise & i sooo appreciate it..

i ♥ them all..

Also thanxs to my Hubby & darling son..xoxo.

It was a lazy Sunday cause i just gets better dat fine day.

At about 2plus, Mama msged me and asked IF im home and so i said we are home.

She say she's coming over with my adek, Redha since she's at Commonwealth for a wedding function.

Soon after, she arrived with just herself n Redha.

Redha & Danny had a good time playing n 'cleaning' my house with toys all over.

haha.

When SUDDENLY..............................

My kazen came.

I got shocked cox she didnt even msged me and my house is in a mess.

*felt shy towards them cox my hse has turned to a playhse storeroom*

Within minutes after both of them arrived, i was again in shocked when

my SIBLINGS came with my DAD with CAKE & lotsa FOOD.

OMG!!

It was reallllyyyy a surprised and i wassssss soooooooooo sooooo happy.

Am reallli speechless cox i jz feel that its realli a hassle for all of them..

awwww...

The pictures above shows how speechless n happy i was with that half sick face

*except for the last few shots when i'v applied a lil makeup since we'r goin out*

This is indeed a memorable birthday for me cox it's the 1st birthday celebration for me in my OWN crib..

*Didnt get a chance to celebrate last yr's bday in my own crib since myself,hubby & Danny is very sick n we were sleeping the whole day, hence this year is the 1st year*

sooo suwitt of alll of themm...

I sooo appreciate it.

And on to the very bday, 2 Aug, a MONDAY, is indeed a special one to.

Cause...

We had a ERZANISHA's family's DATE.

*too bad, no photo taken*

It's been quite sometime since we last dine in a restaurant and today, Hubby being superr nice he brings us out.

The moment after Hubby reach home from home, he quickly took a shower and get me to change.

I was shocked seeing Hubby dressed up smartly after i went out from the toilet.

At that moment, i still didnt now where he's bringing us but i follow with his dress code. LOL.

*feeling2 couple*

and of cors i dress danny too following as how smart mamat he's daddy is.

hehe..

N taaadaaa..

Hubby actually brought us to Swensens..

Well, there are 2 reasons y he chose Swensens..

Firstly, dats the very 1st restaurant that we first dated

and

2ndly, im craving for their Sticky Chewy Choc Sundae..

We had a gd quality time there..

I guess that's all bout my twenty2...the rest is history.

hehe....

this is the latest shot of me and YESS i noe i dont look good at this pic

*even the above pictures too...*

I donoe but i feel that i dont bloom at all even with makeup on..

so sadd....

*__*
*i think i dont bloom during all my pregnancy..hehe*

Okays, i think dats about it..

I guess my next post probably i cud reveal the sex of my baby..
*BOY or GIRL???*

PROVIDED im in the mood to reveal it cox for now im stil figuring shud i let know or not.

hmmmmm.....

Till here,

Take Care.

2010-07-30T21:12:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah..

Please lessen the pain..

Im just too scared if its getting worst..

And i realli hope its not gonna be ~~APPENDIX.~~

I just came across this article in the web;

Appendix Symptoms

The appendix is an unused tissue that resides in the lower part of your abdomen. If you begin to suffer from appendix inflammation then you may begin to suffer from extreme appendix symptoms. You'll need to immediately seek medical treatment since any delay could result in death.

In early stages, you can start to feel appendix symptoms that are mild. The most easily recognizable sign is a pain not far from your navel. As your appendix inflammation continues, it starts to move to your lower right abdomen. During this shift, the disease starts to spread to nearby tissues. The aching starts to be com sharper and stronger.

The pain eventually settles in the lower part of your abdomen, not far from where your appendix actually is. The point is found midway from your navel to your upper right pelvic bone. The point is commonly known as the McBurney point. Pain that is found in this location is a leading sign that you are suffering from appendicitis.

You also can suffer from other appendix symptoms alongside the pain. These symptoms are important to be aware of, particularly in children who might not communicate the area of their pain properly. These additional appendix symptoms are swelling in the abdomen, diarrhea and constipation. Sufferers can lose their appetite and have a low grade fever. Similarly, appendicitis sufferers can lack of ability to pass gas to relieve any of the other appendix symptoms.

It's very important to find medical advice if you think you or a family member has appendix inflammation or are suffering from appendix symptoms. If you don't then you risk death since untreated appendicitis can be deadly.

I'm having the symtoms and its really bothering me since doctor too suspected me with it.

Ya Allah, im just too scared.

I really hope EVEN if im dignosed with it, its just gonna be a mild one n requires no surgery.

I cant afford to be admitted cox it werries me leaving my son which i suspect he too cant bear it and imagine IF i were to undergo the surgery with this pregnant tummy.

Oh my.. Onli ALLAH noes wads in my heart now.

Ya Allah, please bless me with the pink of health..

Im still bearing the pain..~

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-30T09:06:00.001+08:00

Not feeling well..

*P-A-I-N-F-U-L*

Since yesterday, i've these period-like pains in my tummy..

IMAGINE, i endure it for like A DAY!!!

and didnt had ANYTHING but just 2 Slice of bread in the morning.

Im with my son and how do i really rest?

Its soooo painful dat at times i jz feel like hating myself.

duhhh~

At 10pm, Hubby decided to bring me to A&E for a check cox he's soo worried for the unborn baby..

Later did i know, im having urine infection (UTI)..
Doctor even suspect me having appendix cox i too had pains at the right side of tummy.

Nevertheless, beside these pains, my baby is still kicking well and

its a relieve for me noeing he/she is doin OK in there.

*hopefully*

Doctor also says that my heart rate is HIGH and he wants me to eat well cox i almost dehydrate myself.

OMG!

(Twice of watery-like diarrhea and not eating/drinking realli dehydrates you)

Till today, as of 30/07 @ 8.45am, im still suffering the unbearable pain.

The pain comes and go as if im due for labour.

*which is absolutely NOT*

Just a moment ago, after i throw my bowel which AGAIN watery-like, i vomitted..

*u noe, when u didnt eat, nothing much u cud throw out but

WATER (i think) and it feels sooooo eeeyucksss..!*

I felt sooo weak now and cant get back to sleep hence i blog..

I sooo hope hubby cud be by my side now but tooo bad, he needs to werk.

AHHH yess.. While im typing this, my baby is actually dancing inside. LOL.

I sooooo LOVEEE this feeling.

*Thankiuuu baby....shayannggg dierr...*

For a moment, i felt im OK. hehe.

And yaaa.. I soooo hope i'l be getting better today n the other days too..

I realli cant afford to fall sick cox Danny realliiii needs me.

Its really stressing wen u are all alone managing ur child at home and u r sick..

its sooo stressing that you cant give full attention to him.

Nevertheless, besides these downfall, i hope something better awaits us.

Im really loooking forward for my coming check up to see my baby..

Hope he/she is doin well in there.

*Baby, hang on there ya..We'r halfway thru.. Just 4months left*

**Need myself back on track. Get well soon to me.**

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-28T17:56:00.001+08:00

Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever do.

It is filled with highest highs

& the most painful is lows.

There is no rule book, however

Allah is always there to guide us to achieve

a better future, lives & happiness.

2010-07-26T15:50:00.002+08:00

WOWWW...

what a small world.

FB do wonders..

HAHAHAHA..

Been years since i'v been wanting to meet / see this 'fellow' but hasnt had any chance.

To my SURPRISED, today, i received an inbox msg in FB from HER.

OMG.

''hie... disini siti...kwn lame ur husband..

i'm sorie about your son..i extend my sympathy to u n ur family...i know how u felt about losing one of own..kiter sesame wanita.. ini semue ditakdir tuhan... i wish the best for u n ur family.. i sentiase doakn kebahagian tok u n ur family.. assalamuailaikum. ''

Well, she's my Hubby's EX before me.

AND................

I still REMEMBER clearly what conversation both me & her had.

YESSSS... We both ever make conversation BUT never met.

1st time was when she called me crying and saying that she LOVES my hubby dearly and wants him to be her husband..

And i remember saying,

''Tell him. IF he wants u, he'l go to u. I dont really care for him.''

And i hung up.

-At dat point of time, i wasnt really INTO my hubby, so i dont care wats the prob btwn her & my hubby-

But mine n her conversation didnt END there.

After that day, there happened a day when i was with Hubby(dat time he's my BF laa) and she CALLED hubby.

And so, she wanted to talk to me (or either myself laa hu wanted to talk to her, dat i forgot)

and the conversation came

WILD when she starts to curse me up n down (maki hamun me)

n even says

I DONT DESERVE TO BE WITH ERZAN.

YESS.. Dats wat she says.

(Kire, i ni jahat, she yang terBAIK for him)

Then when i got mad after she cursed me, i asked to mit up at Bugis (since i was at Bugis at that time)

BUT she dowan n ask me to come to her place wich she didnt even give any plc.

duhh~

Our conversation was just untill there laa and it HANGED cox Hubby stop me..

I never had a chance to mit her.

Only met her AFTER i got married, that was by chance uh..

N now....

Im in dilemma to accept her friend request or not to.

Many advise me NOT TO.

I dunoe.

-__-

I'v yet to reply her.. But i'v made a draft of wat i THINK i might reply her back;

'Well, i assume that you have forgotten me. So i will refresh your memory. I believe you are the girl that dared me to meet you up the other time. i hope that you are sincere at the very least about the condolences for my son.'

*sarcastic version*

Shud i send her that way? Or just,

'Salam, well, i assume that you knew i knew you.. And we even had conversations before, remember? Nevertheless,

thanked you about the condolences for my son...

How have you been doin?'
~~*good girl version*~~

hmmmmm...

It seems that ALL of Hubby EX's became my FRIEND.

Will they remain my friend or will they be my FOE one fine day later?

mmmmmm......

Ps. She also send a friend request to my dear Hubby..

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-22T10:17:00.001+08:00

The start of the week obviously not a gd one.

Weekends were well spent BUT it ended on Sunday night when Hubby's foot got worst.

Hubby had something like blisters on the side of his left feet since last week.

It got worst over the weekends probably mainly this is due to his frequency in wearing shoes -to work hence the blister just didnt get well but ~~worst~~.

We were spending the quality time out with my cousins n bro when hubby had difficulties stepping on his feet.

The painful sensation is unbearable for him that his appetite were seriously LOW.

I cant bear seeing him in deep pain n i requested him to go A&E though he insisted,

still i force him since the swollen came and all.

So after sending my cousin back home (it's already 2am in the morning yaww), we heed to Yishun to send my bro

but before that we left for Khoo Teck Phuat's A&E..

Hubby was given a jab at his BUTT and were put in observation ward which almost got him admitted.

Doctor had told him that if there's any drowsiness after the jab, they'l need to get him admitted.

Despite having the drowsiness, he told them that he's fine and wants to go home.

By that time, myself, Danny and bro has been waiting for him for like 2 FREAKING hours.

GOOSH...

Imagine, we reached A&E at 3am and Hubby only leave the observation ward at 5.30am....!!

Superrr longg mannn.....

Hubby were given 3 DAYS of MC including an excuse for shoes from 22 TO 26 July.

Wat worries me that, Fever develop after a day of MC and i got superrrr worried.

But, Alhamdulilah, as of today, 22 July, Hubby's back to werk..

I wishh him for a speedy recovery and to be back to his feet as per normal, insyaAllah.

And, now..........

It my son's turned hu's running a temperature.

GOSSSHHH!!
I soooo hope i cud take the fever from him.

I cant bear seeing his red lips and his puffy eyes/face..

I sooo hope he'l be strong to fight thru the fever battle.

Even im also down with cough, flu and a lil headache,

i cant put myself to slip cox i got too worried for my son.

May Allah grant the pink of health to our family, insyaAllah.

And to my pregnancy, goodness... I've been eating like nobody business.

I dont eat alot BUT i crave alot.

I mean, i wanna eat this n this n this n the list goes on...........

-__-

So far alhamdulilah, i think my baby's progressing well cox i've been feeling

the kicks, punching, dancing, somersault or watsoeva alreadyy.

The feeling is speechless.

Superr happy, YESSSSS....

Hubby too shared the same feeling as me, cox every time Hubby puts his hand on my tummy,

baby will make sure Hubby feels his/her presence.

LOL.

Daddy's girl/boy uhhh?

HAHA.

Nevertheless, mama hope u'l owaes be fine in tummy (and FOREVER of cors)

though u are placing super LOW which i had a very 'GOOD' shifts to the toilet.

pppffftttt~

Be a gd boy/girl ok honeyyy....!!

Alright, thats all for now..

Danny's still slipping and i guess, i shud have a nap too or my headache will go even worst..

P.S : Danny's been toking non stop now.. Duhhh~ Recently, i was playing w him, wen i turned away frm him he went to his daddy n says, 'Papa,mama nak tak nak fren danny..' *with his sad tone* lol.

And when i call him, he says, 'Tak fren' as he folds he's arms.

haiz... He's full with his actions. ppfft~

He really make my day with his everday learning pace.

iloveuson.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-17T14:04:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, all i'v been thinking about is....

A BOY.... or A GIRL.....

Duuuuuhhhh~

It's soooooo NOT me.

Previous pregnancyS, i dont even felt any eagerNESS in finding to know the gender but this

time round i cant help it. The more people kept guessing, the more i came excited bout it.

Many assume its gonna be a GIRL but i dont think so.

I felt its gonna be a BOY..

The guessing game has finally started.

LOL.

Hopefully by next check-up, 'it' can be seen clearly so there'l be no more GUESSING games.

Watever it'l be, STILL, im gonna feel superr happy.

Like i say, having a lil miracle in me is already a BLESSING and i dont wanna ask for more.

I'm already happy even if it turns to be a BOY ~~again~~ or GIRL..

But for now, let it just be a GUESSING.

*Hubby predict a girl on the way..And me, a Boy.*

Let's wait n see.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-14T10:47:00.001+08:00

Last weekend was a blast one.

Spent both of the days with my loved ones.

Saturday was a family gathering cum house warming of my uncle's new hse.

Indeed a nicee gatherings.

KECOHRABLE!!

LOL.

Sunday was a family day too.

Earlier of the day, we went to my granny's place at Jurong.

Mama, abah and the rest of my siblings except Khalid were already there upon we reached.

Also another nicee gatherings.

We left earlier then them to heed to West Coast Park.

Its just ERZANISHA's family quality time. LOL.
*THEY wanted to stay longer at nenek's plc but me n hubby already planned to fly kite*

As it's Hubby's virgin hobby, he's been the only one hu fly the kite..

And me, accompany my lil hero with his never-ending MOVES.

duhhh~

Despite being tired running here n there with Danny,

still i enjoyed cox afterall it shud b an enjoyable outing.

LOL.

But sometimes i wonder,

will i ever get the chance ~~AGAIN~~ to JUST pamper JUST myself alone without Hubby and Son?

Hmmm..

That gonna be a fat hope.

Well, at times i just feel like being ALONE. And felt like going out and pamper myself to a spa treat or something

but i just cant bear leaving my son with anyone being his super hyperactiveNESS that im sure

there's no ONE will ever want to look after him.

Now he's getting even more MANJA then before maybe cos he knew im expecting and so he shows he's

superr terrible crankyNESS - the superr tk tahu diam pe'el.

Though sometimes i pity him cox it seems that people dont ~~like~~ him animore.

Not dont like laa .. but maybe 'sick' of him.

Haisshh..

Pity my lil boy.

I really hope he'l grow up to be a better boy and prove other's wrong.

Soon he'l turn 3, hope he'l be much more matured.

Nevertheless, i still will LOVE u my son.

You'r everything to me THOU u gave me lotsa ACHE.

LOL.

To those hu dont like my kid, shooo OFF, i too dont NEED youu to LIKE my kid.

grrrrrrrrrr....

Ok, let's move on.

On to my tummy.

I've seen 'progressed' in it..

LOL.

It has start to shows and im already GAINING.

a gd sign? hmm.. HOPEFULLY.

Recently, there's this person approach me and commented,

''Eh, nampaknya mcm boy lagi jer'' WITH a SAD face.

YESS, she commented it with a sad face REPEATEDLY.

(I dont mind if u just say its a BOY but wat i got pissed off is the reaction u gave me)

Heyy common, it's not as if im able to click a button and chose for a BOY or GIRL..

afterall its all ALLAH's planned.

Im already blessed that there's a baby growing in me, what more do i want??

Even if it's gonna be a BOY, im the one hu gonna look after him and not YOU.

So? Y bother???

PLEASE laa.. You urself is already a mom, aunty & even granny and has lotsa kid, why must u gave me that kindda comment..?

Soooo tk perlu u-know.!

I came soooo pissed off.

You shud at least prays the best for me NOT that comment.

DUUUHHH~

I think, once i knew the gender of my baby, i'l just keep it a surprise.

Since people gonna comment this n that, better for me to avoid listening rather then pissing myself off.

haizz..

I dont mind if people were to comment like wat i received earlier (previous entries)..

At least, dat makes me smile.

Oh well, we cant SHUT people up.

So, forget itt.. Afterall , its my life and i NEVER ever disturb theirs.

UP YOURS.

On the other hand, NOW there's 2 'votes'.

One says its a GIRL

One says its a BOY

.....

So... wich is it?

Hmmmmm....

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-09T00:08:00.001+08:00

Obviously the start of 7 July wasnt a good one.. ;(

I got superrrr emotional cause all last year moments kept flashing in my mind.

Every single thing i do since the start of 6 July seems to be disturbing.

Kept looking at the clock and last year's moments just keep on running in my mind. Especially during 10pm. Duhh~ Thats the moment when i cuddle my darling baybee LAST YEAR. Tears just rolled down as i looked at the ticking clock.

Hubby too felt the same way as me. He too kept repeating last year's moments. And both of us just smiled..

-__-

I knew Hubby is about to tears but i can c that he's keeping himself strong JUST for me and me too being understanding, hide my tears...

The grieve is still soo hard to overcome though it's been a year.

Nevertheless, he's surely in good hands..

I cant put myself to sleep that time.. Last year incident kept on bothering my sleep. And suddenly at 3am, Hubby was shivering as if he's in a COLD tub. Duhh~ Took temperature for him and it states 39.9. GOSHHH!! I came superrr paranoid.

I cried n cried cox i feels that he's leaving me.

~~- YESSSS that was my thoughts. You noe, i got traumatised to the 7th July date. -__-~~

*Alhamdulilah, he's fine and still with me now. *

10am at the morning of 7 July, we went to the clinic.. I accompanied him as he requested. Duhh~ We spent half of the day JUST to see the doctor. LOL. Morning 'shift' was to accompany Hubby and afternoon 'shift' was Hubby to accompany ME. haha.. My appointment is at 12 BUT we only reach there at 1.40. Haha. Cause the queue at Poly is superrrr LONG.. Btw Hubby got 3DAYS MC cause Doctor suspect he had Dengue cause it was a sudden High Fever and he got donoe wat viral infection that causes his feet to swell with WATER.

*But Alhamdulilah as per today,8 July, he's fine*

Aniways, im blessed and happy that atleast i receive a GOOD news on 7July. - My baby in tummy is well. ALHAMDULILAH!

As for now, baby's fine. Baby's heartbeat is normal..

-Thats veryyy important-

But wat worrying me is, doctor ask me to monitor if last week 'event' were to came, i NEED and HAVE to come to hospital to get ADMITTED. Yess admitted. -__- Doctor says my blood is OK and everything is OK and IF that episode were to come, they need to investigate further.

HOPEFULLY, that 'episode' will not come ANYMORE...

Ya Allah, please grant me with the bestest health.

Meanwhile, im counting the days to this weekend.

Yeeeehaaa~

Saturday, PLEASE come fast.

LOL.

Oh by the way, someone ask if i'v knew my baby's gender or not. And i say not yet. And so she asked wat thoughts were i having and i say i dunnoe. This person then says, she suspected im having a GIRL and if its TRUE, i OWE her a set of brooch pins and accesories. WOW. but if its BOY, she'l treat me to LJS. WOW. - this is a promised , she said. LOL.

Gotta wait till my next scanning, and to confirmed, we hafta wait till i deliver.. HAHA..

Wat are your thoughts people?

Comment me pls.

1) I got acne during this pregnancy and i really thinks its veryy bad

2) I craves for sweet stuffs

3) I had the worst morning sickness till weeks 12

4) Baby's heart rate is 150..

I guess thats FOR now.

Donoe from that, you people can make any predict or not.

LOL.

This is exciting yarr?

lmao.

Aniways, i think my baby has start moving.

hehehe..

*Awww.. i sooo miss this moments.*

My gynae too asked if my Baby has start moving and i say, i think so.

LOL.

He said, yes it cud be true cause 'Ur baby SHUD have start so.'

I pray that Allah will grant me with this bundle of joy with the

bestest of Health and from that i wudnt wanna ask for more.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-07-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

30June.

Evrythg happen on dat day was my 1st time..

G0od n bad..

Eventually i th0t it g0na b a gd day 4 me bt it turned the other way r0und..

1st ting in the m0rning is the m0st awaited m0ment.

Finally,i'v registered my prince to Masjid Muhajidin..

Alhamdulilah,insyaAllah he's plc is already secured...

-n0w i had n0 werries 4 nt finding any sch0ol 4 him.

He was s0o eager that up0n we'r leaving the hse,and kept asking me to bring al0ng his b0oks.

Duhh~ and when we jz enter the m0sque,he said,

'Ma,mana Checher.. Mana fren..' w0ah. He was s0 excited b0ut it.

N i really h0pe tiz g0od vibes wil return on the 1st day n all d days in sch0ol nxt n cmg yrs insyaAllah.

*2nd part of the day*

We then headed to Yishun ch0ngpang to mit mama..

*been quite s0mtym since i spent my day w mama*

had my 'breakfast' *nt lunch* th0ugh its at 1pm...heheh.

Aft we eat,we went 4 a lil wind0w sh0pping there.

And here c0mes the hectic part.

Suddenly i felt spining and all ar0und me turned brighter and brighter..

I felt super tired n jz feel like falling. In all my m0m saw wat happen n came super panic..

She quickly t0ok me to sit. I th0t it was ok aft i sit. It den g0t w0rst c0x like suddenly im breathless. I had difficulty breathing.. Mama said i l0oked super pale.. And the pe0ple ard me kept l0oking at me. My m0m kept askin if i was ok n all i say is im ok. Infact i realy am..

Duhh~ my mama quickly bring me to the d0ctr.. aft s0metime,i came n0rmal...

Dctr said im lack of vitamins,calcium.. Lack of sleep,t0o tired n stres that these occured.. Hmm....

Im waiting 4 my appt on tz 7th so i can ask y it happen frm my gynae.. After ch0ngpang,we headed to mama hm..

*3rd part of the day*

Later at night,aft hubby ends his werk he came to fetch me.. Bt instead of g0in hm we planned to g0 mustafa. N so we tag my br0 alid n my uncle,ami mafut.. Its 11plus already.. Suddenly while hubby's driving,up0n reaching the highway, he felt s0methings not right with the van.. Indeed,his instinct were right. The van g0t stalled n luckily hubby was in time to m0ve frm the 2nd lane to the rd sh0ulder.. Dun0e wat happen to the van that it jz cant start..

After few attempts of trying these and that,hubby made d c0nclusi0n to call the EMAS rec0vry..

Its my verry 1st time experiencing a vehicle breakdwn.

The funny part is when the t0w truck arrived. Danny g0t super mad til he cried cause.....

The t0w truck is taking away hubby's van. lol.

He d0nt all0w the t0w guys to t0w hubby van.. And mind u, he really cried as he sh0ut (u n0e the rd is super n0isy),

'jangan amek van papa. Tkm0...taruk..' *with the hands signs* ..

we were all laughing at him n managed to snap a pic of him. Lol. Funny la diz b0y..

See,i told u.. Evrythin happen 0n 30,is the 1st time 4 me.. 1st time registrg sch0ol .. 1st time xperience blackout n breathles.. 1st time xperience a vehicle breakd0wn..

hmmm....

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-06-29T11:48:00.002+08:00

Life is too short for 'what ifs' and regrets.

So live each day the best way u can.

Cos u don't know when will be your last..

i find this quote super TRUE

and it gives me the strength to move on.

Indeed, we never know when will be our last.

So cherish with wateva we are grant with.

Alhamdulilah, im back to myself..

I manage to eat as per normal and i'm veryyy veryyy sure i'v gained weight.

*Let's weigh on the chk-up day*

Hubby being the super happy man when he realise i'v been eating..

*Infact i didnt realise i'v been eating well till he sounds me*

He say he likes it though.

*YESSS u MUST like it cox it's all bcos of YOU love.*

And he wants to get wateva food that i ask for. duhhh~

I realise that nowadays, i'v been going in n out of the toilet like

dunoehowmanytimes JUST to PEE.

-___-

On certain days, i'l feel a lil pain in my abdomen area..

*This time round its not those contraction pains that i experience before*

I read thru in pregnancy websites that the ligaments is stretching in the abdomen hence the pain..

These pains are usually temporary but the growing uterus will put extra strain on my back.

GOSSSH!! This pregnancy really 'testing' my back.. my back reallly hurts.

Maybe cause its my ~~forth~~ pregnancy..

Let us move to the gender.

Hmmmm..

Will it be a BOY or GIRL???

Many who seen n knew im expecting, says that im carrying a GIRL

even Hubby oso says that.

But i really cant tell if im having a Girl or Boy.

I planned not to know the gender but Hubby insist to know.

LOL.

My gynae says that we can see the gender on this coming check-up.

hmm.. lets wait n see.

Boy or Girl isnt a MATTER to me all i hope for is he/she to be well..

IF its a BOY, it'l be great cox he'l replace my baybee Rifqy.

IF its a GIRL, it'l too be great cox i'l have a pair and i cudnt ask for more..

In all, i leave it to Allah.

He knows the best.

Now let us talked about my darling prince Danny.

GOSHH!! this boy of mine is superrr duperr funny boy.

He now knew alot of words and can understand wateva words we say.

Recently, he suddenly uses the word 'Angin' when we went to fly kite.

Upon reaching, he suddenly say, 'Mama.. Mama.. Ada angin..'

arghh.. i smiled ear to ear upon hearing dat.

He too now knew my expressions.

When he does something wrong, i'l just give him a look and he'l say sorry..

When he does something good, i'l just show him a smile and he'l hug me...

But when comes my EMO moment, *when i moment i felt sad n look troubled*, he'l

take my face and ask why.. And he even will wipe my tears when i cried.

awwwwww.....

In all, he's my EVERYTHING and i cudnt imagine LIFE without him.

You'r the reason to my smiles darling..

Though u'l drive me crazy,

at the end of the day,

u still will lit my day up..

ILOVEYOUMUHDROSLYERDANNY.

Tomorrow or maybe this Saturday, i'l be going to register him to Nursery for next year.

We'l settle down with Mujahidin mosque that i soooo dont like the place.

*Mosque and management is OK just the PLACE is not my type*

We got no other choice since the surpose Mosque which we already planned

to send him too has no longer Nursery classes next year..

Quite dissappointing.

Anyways, woaaah.. soon my hero is going to school..

I wonder how he'l do in school..

Will he cry??

Will he bully the other kids??

Will he listen to the teachers??

Will he keep still when ask to???

GOSHHHH........

these keeps running on my mind when i think of him going to school.

hhmmm...

alright.. i guess i'l end my entry now cox im already

feeling HUNGRY need to cook and do other chores...

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-06-28T13:31:00.000+08:00

Booohoo~

Its weekdays..

Sometime i wish for more WEEKENDS then WEEKDAYS...

LOL.

IF only............

*dreaming.....*

Anyways, my weekends were spent awesomeLY..

yeehaaa~

By the way, by the road, by the jalan.....

JUNE is coming to an end..

Goodness!

Time flies soooo fast..

Soon its coming to a year since my baybee is gone..

awwww...

7 July last year was a superbly bad day for me, but i soooo hope this year's 7 July will ~~atleast~~ be a good one.

Its my 4 months chkup (InsyaAllah) and i hope to hear good news from my gynae..

And after 7 July, im looking forward for 10 July..

Like finally...

My bro is coming back home.....

yeaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

Alright i guess i'll end my post here..

*this is my shortest post ever *

I got alot of chores waiting for me...

Plus i wanna bake Swiss Roll Lapis today....

Wish me good luck yarr..

teeheee..~

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-06-24T13:01:00.000+08:00

Happiness is temporary.

But how you cherish those

moments is what that matters.

Hope for the best

and

prepare for the worst.....

2010-06-24T12:39:00.001+08:00

Outdated entry.

**This post is supposed to be on the 17 June but due to some reasons i only able to post it today..**

Im 13weeks pregnant but......

Why dont i feel pregnant?

Is it too soon to feel so or its just me having those thots?

Seriously i dunnoe how to express these feelings in me..

Im feeling superrr paranoid and kept feeling scared of losing my loved ones..

I guess,this is trauma.

But till when shud i be paranoid?

Goodness it hurts me alot.

IF only there's a way where i can erased the trauma, that once i got depressed with (infact till today im depressed),

I'll sure do it. Its really hard for me to move on..

Ya Allah, please have some mercy on me.. I longed to have that happy-me back. I dont really ask for happiness in enjoyment BUT all i need is peace in my heart.

As for my pregnancy, i just hope for the best. IF its meant to be mine, it'l be. But if its not, then its really fated.. AND im sure gonna just stop trying anymore. I've try to stay as positive as i could in my mind and have been trying my very best to keep myself fit BUT if Allah has written that its not mine then im sure i cant do much. Though im gonna feel super terrible, still, i gotta move on for the sake of my one n only precious prince.

''Baby.. Please stay in mama's tummy till the day you finally can see the world. I'll do aniting for you even if i were to lose or risk my life.. Papa & Danny has been yearning to have you darling.. I wudnt want to disappoint them and also the rest of the family members..'

''Danny Boy, to you too.. Please be a good son..Do grow up to be 'anak yg soleh..' Mama tooo will risk my life for you shud anything happens.. I really LOVE youu sayang.. ''

I dunnoe why that suddenly i was awaken at 5am. And suddenly i felt sooo scared and paranoid.

I kept checking on my son n Hubby and IF only i can check on my mom, I'l check too.

How wud u feel IF u were me???

How wud u cope with these feelings???

How????

Arghhhh.

I really feel that i cant move on..

How do i move on when every now and then i kept feeling paranoid????

How do i move on when every now and then i scared of losing my loved ones????

How do i move on when every now and then i scared i'l experience miscarriage again????

How do i move on when i kept thinking and wondering will my unborn baby follow my baybee on the 54 days????

HOW???? HOW??????

It feels soooo hard. And seriously im SPEECHLESS.

But shud the day comes when allah took all the worries in me and took me to follow my baybee, i hope that my darling Husband and son and all my family members to not follow my worries.. I hope they cud jz read prayers to me and have me in their hearts cox i LOVE all of them alots. And to huever hu reads my blog, help me to inform my family members of the existence of this blog of mine and tell them to forgive me shud there be any mistakes from me.

grrrrr.. i dunoe what i'v been blabering and i guess its enuff.. i've let out ALL my feeling HERE. and im feeling a bit better. ahhhhhhh.

''Ya Allah, Kau telah berikan aku dugaan yang terlalu mencabar. Aku tidak kuat dan mampu nak bertahan lagi.
Sekiranya, Kau masih nak menduga kehidupanku - tolonglah ringankan dugaan ini dan tabahkan hatiku dan keimananku. Aku telah kehilangan Muhd Rifqy Erdanniel and juga selepasnya.. Aku tidak mampu kehilangan Muhd Rosly Erdanny dan yang akan datang ini... Hanya mereka sahaja harta ku di dunia ini.''

2010-06-09T12:34:00.003+08:00

Let the pictures do the TALKINGS.

WE had an awesome weekends LAST WEEK..

Finally, COUSINS outing is a SUCCESS though there's a lil hiccups here and there..

All of us really enjoyed ourself and we are looking forward for more of it..

We got the chance to play the laser Quest - in which ALL of us is NEW to it except for Shida (hu recommend this to us) & Hubby (who had played before somewhere else).

After Laser Quest, we heed to have dinner @ Tong Seng..

awwwwesome food. YESS YESS.

And off we go to Arab St for sheesha..

enjoyZing YESSS YESSSS.....

After sheesha, we went to my place to get Danny's pampers & milk for sleepover @ Ciya's.

We reached Ciya's crib at ard 2am and ALL parents plus the lil kids are assleep.

We then had our lepak session at Ciya's room..

We played cards, share jokes and lots more.....

Hubby being the driver for the whole day slept 1st followed by Hardy..LOL.

But tooooo bad, i'v neber even snap ANY photos BUT my dear cousins did.

And so, i 'curik' some shot from Isha's to post it here...hehe.

There are more from Shida n Ciya but seems both of them have YET to upload.

On Sunday, we spent the day @ Pasir Ris Park.

Some of us fly kite, ride bicycle.. eat.. sit.. laugh.. and MORE.

LOL.

awwwwesome weekend right?

Indeed.

*****

And now, back to weekdaySS...

duhh~

Im feeling superr lethargic now.. Its already 12.30 and i YET to have any breakfast.

Im superrrr hungry BUT i cant seems to eat.

Hubby had instructed me to take OATS but seems that i'v been ignoring it.

Im craving for Mee Soto...

hmmm.. maybe i'l have it at SGH later afternoon.

Today's my check up and hubby has taken half day..

Yippeeee...!!!!

Now, im waiting for his return..

Btw, i hope everything goes well for this chk u and hope there'l be NO BLOOD test todayy.

And i also hope to see an increase in my weight or Hubby will sure be nagging at me for not eating well..

*****

I guess i better end my entry here..

My laundry is 'calling' for me.

LOL.

The weather is niceee to dry the laundry.

So........

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-06-04T04:22:00.005+08:00

Im falling sick..

duhh~

Fever, please dont come this soon kays..

I noe its been quite some since i had my fever.

I remember the last time im down with fever was in 1 Aug 2009 (day before my birthday and it last for 5days..Superr high fever that doctor suspected i had H1N1) in wich aft few weeks of Rifqy leaving US..

Im now having blocked nose and my throat is super sore.

I soooo hope it'l goes off real soon.

I've made plans for these weekends. So hope im well by then.

InsyaAllah.

*****

Aniways, i'v seen that i'v left this blog for a week.

Hmmm..

Well its due to my busyNESS.

But alhamdulilah, my courses is all DONE.

Like finally.

haha.

Im now busy preparing my Accesories projects..

I'v yet to upload/publish any photos of it.

InsyaAllah, sooner or later, i will.

Well, im just lack of CONFIDENCE!!!

My teacher always scolds me for that..

And im now been starting to do Kek Lapis and Swiss Rolls.

So, spread the words yawww..

InsyaAllah, i wont dissapoint you.

*****

By the way, i've been going in and out of the toilet like EVERY now and then.

Duhh~

And i'v been craving this and that BUT had no APPETITE to it.

I dunnoe how do i explain but criously, nowadays i hardly eat.

The very least i eat for a day, is just a meal or sumtimes i dont eat AT ALL.

And i really mean it.

My hubby has been scolding me. He thot i that i purposely do it n go for DIET whereas he donoe that i feel like im torturing myself. I wanna eat but my throat just dowana accept. Sometimes, when i felt super hungry and wanna eat, the smell of the FOODS just make me wanna PUKE.. And surprisingly, i cant smell HOTDOGS..

arghh..! It's my FAV and now i really gotta AVOID it.

Nevertheless, I hope to hear good news on this coming Wednesday..Im really waitng for this day to come.

Hope everything goes smoothly for me.

InsyaAllah, amin.

*****

U wanna noe wat im doing now @ 3.40am in the morning besides updating this entry???

Im on youtube listening to 'lagu lagu JIWANG retak.'

LOL.

It really relieves my STRESS. *lmao*

Memories behold..

hmmmmm...

''Apa guna merindu-rindu

Andai orang nyata dah benci

Tak usah merayu-rayu

Tak mungkin kasihnya kembali''

-Usah turut kata hati-

'' Kita bertemu kali ini untuk apa

Adakah hanya menambahkan lagi sengsara

Luka yang lama belum dapat aku sembuh

masih berdarah mengeruhkan warna hidupku

Namun jika kau datang ini

untuk menggilapkan cermin kasih

pasti kusambutmu dengan mesra

Mungkin jua aku kan terlupa peristiwa pahit

mengcengkam jiwa tak ingin aku kesana.........''

-Mahligai Syahdu-

'' Seperti mimpi perkenalan itu cuma seketika

Namun didalam hati dirimu ku terkenang jua

Engkaulah permata didalam genggaman tidak ku sedari

Kaca yang bersatu keemasan terus kucari

Tertutup pintu hati minda tak berfungsi

di ketika itu tak tahu menilai mana yang tulen mana yang palsu

.............................

Andainya disitu ada ruang boleh kah kiranya ku menumpang

andai ada sisa kemaafan maafkan diri ini yang dulu melukakan

berilah aku........kesempatan ku buktikan erti keikhlasan........

andainya terpaksa aku rela menepis ego aku untuk kita..''

-Kembali Terjalin-

''Aku fikirkan mendung berterusan tapi kini mentari muncul lagi..

Ku rasa kembali kehangatannya

maafkan aku

meninggalkan mu..

itu kulakukan kerana cintaku padamu

Ku tak sanggup melihat kau tersiksa....

Tuhan saja yang tahu perasaan berperang dengan suasana...

Hingga kan ku terpaksa meninggalkan mu kerana

tk sanggup melihat kau menderita

menyesal nya aku kerana menyangka nasib

tk menyebelahi cinta dan hidup kita syukur tuhan masih sayang pada kita..''

-Mentari Muncul lagi-

ARGGGHHHH....!!!! i still got LOADS more touching SONGS.. okay okayyy enuff.

F.Y.I, I TYPED AS I LISTEN TO THE SONGS. NO PAUSES AND NO COPIES.

HAHA.

Suddenly i feel like i wana be EMOtional abit tonight. LOL.

Actually each of the songs (above) has a very DEEP meaning and each of it has its own HISTORY.

Thru MY very own experience.

I've went thru REALLY alot. Not only just in ~~LOVED.~~

I've been really a ~~BAD~~ girl in LOVE hence the songs were dedicated to me.

The lastt two song is reallly reallly TOUCHING.
*There's even this touching song, Mahligai dari airmatamu*

Mentari muncul lagi was dedicated to me by my HUBBY. YESS TRUE.

He did left me ONCE. All cause of the ~~LOVE-TRIANGLE~~ (which i think, i can make a NOVEL out of it. kekekekke)

which were very SERIOUS hence he decided to let me go for my parents sake.

But FATE brings us back together again..Both me and Hubby is really really sooo into each other and we decided to patch things up. Thats the reason why we got married tooo soon.
Hubby cant 'tahan'.. He say i verry notty so he nids to 'tie' me.
And so we got engaged in 19 Aug 2006 and got married 6months after, on 3 March 07..

Hubby is really written for me and not HIM..

Alhamdulilah.

Hubby's my first love and insyaAllah he'l forever will be.
Sometimes i wonder, what will happen to me shud i havent got married and never ever met Hubby. Maybe i'l be even nottier - Yeaa dats wat hubby said. Sadd eh. hmmph~
But im truly blessed.
Thanks Allah, Mama & also Abah.

awwwww...

My bro just told me that he envy my Hubby..Cause he sees that Hubby really take good care of me and family and even provide EVERYTHING for me..
Alhamdulilah.

''Abang, im sure you too can do that...

I always pray for you to have your own sweet and happy family real soon..''

*****

Woaaahhh..Suchha longggg post.

I've been sooo hyper ahh tonight.

LOL.

I guess i better pen off now before this post got LOST..
(It keeps on hanging)
and i've been sneezing non-stop.
-_-

Till Here.

Take Care.

2010-05-24T19:49:00.000+08:00

"Hi baby.

I am not sure if you are already in me, but why do I feel like you are?

I hope I haven’t been hurting you with my endless cough and all the un-nutritious food I’ve been eating. Part of me is afraid if you are already in me. I feel like I haven’t done my part in making sure that you’d be a healthy baby. I hope this doesn’t mean that I am a bad mother because trust me baby, I only want to be the best for you.

About half an hour ago, I felt like vomiting. I can’t stand the smell of certain foods. Was that you, baby? Were you giving me some kind of a heads-up?

If I am already carrying you inside me, please give me a sign soon. I really want to know.

I am all excited thinking about how you’d look like.

Will you look like your bro Danny? or Rifqy?

Talk soon, baby.”

2010-05-24T14:04:00.002+08:00

GOOODNESSS...!!!!

This is sooooooo unexpected.

With regards to my previous post, i send an exact one to the concerned person.

But you-know-what, i receive NOTHING from her side BUT i saw something at her SIDE.

I meant, she posted something in her FB.

xxxxxxxxxx says~ so called a FRIEND like "DESPERADO" send tis to me "Well i guess its just YOUR thumbs down attitude by ignoring ME,your so called FRIENDS without valid reasons..." huh! say lorr wateverr u wana say.. i dun reali care.. aku da dok diam2, bey ko kaco aku. kalo btol la nk berkwn dgn seseorg tuh bey dier tknk, ko diam2 jer arhh. tk perlu nk puaskn ati smpai mengutok kn... perr arrhh!~ haiiiyerrr~

AND SHE COMMENTED THIS TO IT;-

da "hakpueyy" aku mcm2........ bey tros ckp " Hope your famili and yourself r in pink of health." sooo likee pppffffsssszzzzzttttt!!! da laa.. aku tk kaco ko, ko jgn KACO aku okayy~~ ko tkder buat pape sala p aku tknk ko gangu aku lage tros~ aku da jadi mak org ke blom kerr, ni pendirian aku, HAL aku.. go & Happy go lucky wif ur "Kesayangan" kwn u yg da berabad berkwn tuh okiess.. w/o her, u tok so many bad things abt her. p, tuh ko nyer psl lar. cumer ko tlg arr tkmo carik ako lage! titik!

WHERE did i 'hakpueyy' or 'kutuk' you?? where??????

If u reali dont care wat i say, why bother to post it to FB?

COWARD is right word to use it to you.

(Now, THIS is when im CRITICIZING u.)

WHY u dont have the guts to reply to it??? WHY??

Cause you had no right FACTS to shoot me.

I know you r just jealous of my 'KESAYANGAN' friend right??

And hey, since WHEN did i talked bad bout her????

And EVEN if i had, SHE NOES ALL BOUT IT LAAA...

*Check out with her, IF you want to.*

See, i told u.. U got not enough facts to blast me with.
And i guess its just your ATTITUDE problem laa to break ties with one another.

I remember you talked bad bout that bestfriend of mine TO ME so as me TO SEE what bad on HER that i'll IGNORE her.

But c'mon uh, NOW then i SEE who's the TRUE FRIEND.

Infact, i can say that you only wants me to befriend with you BUT not with OTHERS.

Duhhh~

''Aku ada cara nya orang OK. Hence the apologize and the howdy u WORKS there.. And im not a hypocrite.Those messages where meant real and comes from the bottom of my heart. I tried to be nice with you but u were the one hu MISJUDGE it. So, who's wrong here?

You called me a DESPERADO? Hah. Called it wateva u want. But trust me, Allah knows what my intentions are.''

IF i had a chance, i wud really wanna have a good talk with you.

Hmmm.. Maybe i shud give u a call soon.

But shud i? Hmmmmmmm...

* I've never thot that our friendship will end JUST here and in this kind of inAppropriate manner.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-05-21T15:57:00.000+08:00

Tried to patch things up with you BUT failed.

You just wud wanna accept me.

HAIZ.

I wonder what BIG mistake dat i made till you make a distance towards me.

Its really puzzling...

And for goodness sake, we've been friends for like 9 freaking years and SUDDENLY a change in you like ~~now~~.

Well, maybe now that you've start werking, been busy and you already got LOADS of friends and that's when u walked away..

Well i guess its just YOUR thumbs down attitude by ignoring ME,your so called FRIENDS without valid reasons...

I got nothing to lose, YESS buttt we r not supposed to ''putuskan silaturrahim'' right?? It's a BIG sin.

No matter what mistakes i did, i wud APPRECIATE if you cud COME FORWARD and tell me ~~atleast~~ rather then you bottled up your feelings and think negatively bout me.

I've tried my best to BE friend with you once again BUT you just wont accept that FRIEND REQUEST of mine.

I remember, back then, you were the one hu added me and NOW u were the one hu deleted me off. I thot by me sending a friend request to you, you wud accept. Sadly, i'm wrong.

Well, IF you think that i'v forgotten you when i got my other friend, U R WRONG.

Absolutely WRONG. I've told you before, i got not much GFs. And i wish to have many. But i guess you've misjudge me.

You might have thot i dont need you.. And yea.. I still remember you did say u'v regard me as your sister BUT what happen now??? C'mon, share your thots with me ~~atleast~~.

I know u did say to contact you via mobile phone, BUT i wont wanna be disturbing u.. You'r werking and how m i to know when u'r free. (I've never see you in MSN n i donoe if you'v blocked me there too.)

I really wonder WHY you deleted me.

Im reali realiii realiiiii curious.

PLEASE, i sooo hope you cud explain to me.

I'm sure by now you shud noe my attitude. Im the type hu likes to clear 'things' up and patch 'things' up.

We've grown up adults, and already a MOM, why keep things to urself when i'v given you chances to let out wat grudges you have towards me.

Before hand, i realii wud like to apologies to you SHUD there BE any MISTAKES from me.

I realii hope to hear from you real soon.

P.S: Hope your famili and yourself r in pink of health.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-05-13T13:20:00.001+08:00

It's 13 May and I still remember clearly how i had went thru the smooth labour

a year ago delivering that special child of mine..

You will always be in my heart sweethart,

♥Muhd Rifqy Erdanniel♥..

*130509-070709*..

An angel sent from ABOVE.

~Alfatihah.

Time flies soo fast.. My darling late Rifqy is a year today.

How i wish i cud at least give him a birthday kiss..

-_-

IF onli he's with me now, i'm sure i'l be celebrating his 1st Bday bash..

IF onli..................

But wateva it is, still, im very sure he's in a very good shape now.

I'll always pray and hope to see him at least in my dreams..

Baby, mama misses you alot sayang. I realiii am missing you love.

My dearest baby♥ , u r such an angel.. U'r a GOOD BOY..

Since u were in my tummy, u have been reali GOOD to me.

I had a veri easy labour delivering u to this world....

But Allah took u away from me cox u r reali a SPECIAL son n he LOVES u more than i DO..

So my dear boy, u will owaes be remembered and missed..

Baby, please appear in my dream cox i am realiii MISSING u..

i miss ur touch darling....i miss ur smile....i miss ur smell..

and i truly am MISSING u my love....♥

*****

Now, im having the mixed feelings of HAPPY & SAD.

Ya Allah, please shower me with lots of LOVE.

Im happy over the news and at the same time im sad.

Sad cause im scared it'l happen ~~again~~.

Somehow i gotta be strong and maybe i shud heed what mama adviced..

''Jgn di buai dgn fikiran yg bkn2.

Lawan diri ingt yg akan dtg bkn yg dah lepas2 lagi :)

Kak kene syukur n redha...''

*****

I gotta turn down to a job being offered to me.

Awww..

I badly wants this post sometime back then but am sad that i cant take it this time round.

I was being offered as a Admin Assistant @ this well known Childcare Cntre.

I can start working as soon as i can but TIME is not at my side..

TIME as in the situation that im in now and not the TIME CLOCK

Im sad to have turned the boss down.

Lucky, she's succha a nice laydee and advised that shud im able to start werk, give her a call..

I hope i made the right choice this time round.

Ya Allah, please guide me...

*****

Im stil having vertigo and now the heartburn feelings.

Hubby say must be the gastric pain.

Somehow i think its true cause iv been NOT eating well this few days.

I hardly eat and i lost a lil weight which is NO GOOD.

For once, i say NO GOOD in losing weight..

Doctor had advised me to eat well and to be stressFREE but it seems i just cant.

-_-

Well, i just hope that i'l be in PINK health till i made to the next chk-up atleast..

Ya Allah, shower me with good health pleaseeee...

*****

Till Here,

Take Care

2010-05-11T16:53:00.001+08:00

woah~

My back is aching....

arghh!

it's veryy stressing when it happens.

Tried sitting, still hurts. Tried lying, still hurts. Tried standing, still hurts TOO.

Goshh~

The aching feels like im carrying 9months big bulging tummy sey.

LOL.

Hubby says he wanted to give me a good massage but.. He's been too busy infact both of us been too busy.

Him, busy with werk. And me?

Busy with attending classes. duhh~

I soooo hope not to attend any more classes. Im tired and really really worn out. haiz.

But i leave with no choice. I really need and haf to continue till it end.

End of month,pls come fast so it'l soon be the last day of my class.

-_-

*yakdushh to lazy bum me..*

Well, maybe you guys wud be thinking.. Y shud i be tired.

Well.. There's ''something'' going in me..

I dunnoe if i shud make it as a big announcement or not.

But heyy. NO NO NOOOOOO i dont think so..

ermmm..

Ok, let me just start by saying,

Pray for me to have a good health pls.

Thanks.

Im going for a chk-up tomorow for my giddyNESS, and hopes it'l be just fine.

Wait for my next post to know more bout me.

Still, i dunnoe IF shud i or shud i not tell it here..

hmmm......

*wondering*

Till Here,

Take Care.

P.s: I miss you.. YESSS u.. I know u'v been reading my post arent u?

I've got good and bad news to share with you but i dunoe how.
So soo sad..You walked out from me...
-_-

2010-05-06T15:55:00.001+08:00

Im in tears.

Yess, NOW..

Suddenly, i misses my arwah Dad & Son..

I dunoe that i teared till Danny wipes away my tears.

Ya Allah i sooo hope you could give me the strength to move on.

I hope i can go thru this smoothly.

I cant bear losing my loved ones ya Allah.

Please keep me strong, AMIN.

In a weeks time, it'l soon be a year my arwah Rifqy Erdanniel is borned.

Though he's not with me, im preety sure he's in marvellous state.

I still miss him like crazy..

IF onli, i can turn back time, i'l be hugging and kissing him without letting him go.

-_-

Ya Allah, this trial aint a easy one.

I soo hope there's something special awaits me.

Nevertheless,im still blessed with the chances you gave me again.

Never cud i asked for more.

Please forgive me for the mistakes i'v done, and i hope this is not kind of retribution.

Im willing to change for the better insyaallah.

May Allah shower me with lotsa love..

Aku menangis seorang diri

Hatiku selalu ingin bertemu

Untukmu aku bernyanyi

Untuk Ayah tercinta

Aku ingin bernyanyi

Walau air mata dipipiku

Ayah dengarkanlah

Aku ingin berjumpa

Walau hanya dalam mimpi....

21 years may have past, but i still remembers and misses you alot bapak..
Allah has sent my son to you, i hope he'l keep u accompany till the day we reunite insyaAllah..

No matter what happens, u'l owaes in my heart.

Hugs and kisses for you,bapak.

Ku tak tergambar wajahmu

Sinar mata itu

Lirik senyumanmu

Pesona yang membelai

Wajahmu bercahaya

Memberi bahagia

Tiap yang memandang

Hati jadi salju

Kau terlalu istimewa

Kasih dan sayangmu terpancar

Seikhlas tiada batasan

Terus membara

Terkilan rasa jiwa

Ingin ku lihat mu dewasa

Apa daya

Tuhan lebih menyayangimu

Ku pasti kau berbahagia

Duduk di sampingnya

Mendengar cerita

Sekadar rahsia

Tak tertanggung rindu…

Mendengar suaramu…

Tawa mengusik jiwa…

Somehow, this song is really really dedicated to you.

Some people only dream of angels, I held one in my arms.

Indeed, u r a special son sayang..

Mama will always love you and insyaAllah we'l be together again.

You will always be remembered and missed..

I MISS YOU BOTH..

PLEASE VISIT ME IN MY DREAMS.

I BADLY WANTS TO SEE YOU BOTH.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-05-05T16:54:00.002+08:00

Im currently in a state of confusion.

Firstly, i known this someOne for years bt was being deleted (in FB) for n0 rhyme or reas0n.

Wat wud b d st0ry behide it ??

*curi0us*

I donoe if i did wronged..????

or maybe she misjudge me...

All started when i post this in FB recently;

Nisha Rosly is super pissed off with fickle minded pple. One m0ment u r ok, n the other m0ment u'r n0t. Who the hell u tink u r.? Dasar lupa daratan. Ingat org bila tgh susah jer! Duhh ~ thiz is s0me kind of an Attitude pr0blem!

AND THIS;

Nisha Rosly is still laughing out on wat had just happen. Donoe why, but i'v been smiling and laughing at the same time. LOL. *giggles*

For the first post, i had somehow came up with it cos i got super pissed off by this 'someone' hu acted hypocritely towards me lately.

As this someone is really two-faced, i decided to post this out as a HINT to her.

Of cors i wont disclose hu the person is moreover she's in my FB friends and this post is oso meant GENERALLY.

And, siapa makan cili, dialah terasa pedas.

With regards to the second post, its SERIOUSLY got nothing to do with the first.

I was laughing out CAUSE Danny (who's sick at that moment) had quietly came to Hubby asking for MILK in a very nice tone.. And when my Hubby said OK, he suddenly changed and asked for MILO instead. Then Hubby says, 'MILO? Cannot. Dah malam. MILK jer boley k' And this cheeky boy say, 'MILK? OK boleh.

awwwww..

I was laughing out cox it seems that my boy has learned how to asked nicely..

Hubby then made him MILK and say, 'Minum MILK pastu sleep ok.' 'Ok.' He answered.

And to both me and Hubby surprised that he really kept his promise.

Soon after he finished his MILK, he close his eyes and SLEEP.

In all, i laughed cox of the bonding between hubby and son.

But then, this fren of mine thot i was laughing cos i ENJOY asking her Questions.

GOODNESS.

I came sooo terribly sad.

Never i expect,these post wud get her feels bad till she deleted me off.

But it's ok, since she feels better by deleting me, by all means im fine.

Afterall, i'm just an outsider to her.

-_-

Secondly, im now in a very bad shape.

I've been feeling vertigo all day.

And i went to visit the doctor few days back and was given a pill.

ARGHH!!

This pill really makes me become superrr LAZY..

Asked the doctor why i'v been feeling it that way, he says its normal.

Maybe im in stress.

woahhh~

Alhamdulilah nothing crious happen for now. HOPEFULLY!

By the way, i wont be goin out to werk.

Finally, my decision is final.

No werking but insyaAllah i wanna continue doing 'business' from home,

insyaallah.

Now, i'm starting to take orders for making accesories and also cakes wich includes Swiss rolls and kek Lapis..

InsyaAllah, i'l post the pics of my accesories collections soon.

Spread the news ok Love.

Btw, Hubby had sent me to Hijab stylist class last weekend and like finally, i found wat's the BEST image for me.

InsyaAllah.

Soon, i'l be fully in stylish Hijabs..

hehe.

Got that shawl as a door gift when we attend the stylist class..

And i tried it out upon reaching home..

Hubby say i look sweeter in Hijab and he wants to see me in more of it.

He say my looks is onli for him and no one else..
So i must cover-cover laa..

awww~

That is soooo true..

Lucky he "tak suruh tutup muka bila keluar.. "

LOL.

For now, i wanna cut my hair again.

Hubby wants to see me like halle berry or maybe like Victoria Beckham.

But i realii dunoe shud i go to that haircut cox it'l be super short laaaa and if i were to put on Hijab, it'l gets difficult....

hmmm....

CONPIUS~

I guess i'l end my entry here, i gotta get ready as i got class to attend at 7 later.

Till Here,

Take Care

2010-04-28T01:59:00.001+08:00

My lower back is realii realiii realiiii in great pain.

^I-dunno-why^

It hurts me soo badly.

I gues its time for me to pamper myself to have a spa treatment.

ahhh~

Due to this pain, i felt super uneasy.

Watever i do, either lie down or sit or even stand, STILL, i'l feel not right.

duhh~

Oh my, what shud i do to get rid of these?

Okay enuf of that, guess im too stress and too tired that my body has worn out.

sigh.

*****

Its really puzzling that some of my friend(s) that some even, i regard as my SISTER, wants to distance themselves from me....

MasyaALLAH.

i realii dunnoe why.

I've made it clear in my FB to those hu hold grudges with me, to confront me.

But so far, NONE.

And so, i summarise that there's no One.

But to my surprise, till today, i heard nothing from them.

YESS them. Cox its not just one of them but quite a number.

-_-

And the best, one of them even SILENT herself from me, JUST bcos, i cant make myself free to go out with her.

Duhh~

I got nothing to lose. But hey, i LOVED to have lotsa GIRLFRIENDS.

haish..

Well, i guess i hafta move on and forget them.

They'l come to me IF they appreciate me.

I shud not bother them cox absolutely they'r moving on and maybe, they'v forgotten me.

hmmmm...

Like i say in my previous post,

''Dont let someone become a priority in your life..

When you are just an options in theirs.'

Enuff said.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-04-24T13:06:00.003+08:00

It's Saturday and supposingly its PAMPER me-day..

Unfortunately, my darling Hubby is werking today..

awww..

There goes my Saturday.

But but buttt buttt....

Though he's at werk, he still gave me his attentions by texting me with soo much of *care n concerns* messages..

Ahhh. ~ ILOVEYOUPAPABEAR~

For now, let me just say a praises to Allah for the never-ending chances/happiness n the most, health that you'v showered me.. Im greatful to Allah.

Ya Allah, once again, i thanked you for this chance..

People, please please pleaseee prayy good for my health.

Lately i've been feeling super giddy when i did not consume any food/liquids..

I hope its not crious cox im scared if its problem to low-blood.

Health is very important and not Wealth.

Btw,few days back, Hubby's EX (the one where we attended the wedding) chatted with me.

I was superr shocked and YESS. I felt butterflies in my tummy. And im having goosebumps while chatting with her.

LOL.

To summarise, i did told her that i knew, she and my Hubby was once a couple and i told her that i knew stories of them from A to Z..

I must be crazy to have chatted with her.

While chatting with her, my lovely kazen, Isha, give this to me;

'dnT boTher her ler..iF she sees u nice, nnT she take advanTage i dunno Eh.. '

And i told her that 'she' started the conversation and not me,

'sssudah..jgn lyn lerr'

Isha reTweet.

LOL.

My kazen realii loves me uh?

hahhaha..

And i end the conversation like dat n the last question this lady asked was,

'Dah ada baby?'

*speechless*

Alright, lets forget bout it.

Maybe its the way how she wanna be fren with me.

And insyaAllah i have no problem with it.

People treat me nice, and i'l treat you nicely.

But if u wanna act f*** up with me, i'l give you mine.

Whichever, YOU choose it.

TRY me.

Like this saying goes;

i'm pretty but not beautiful

i sin but im not the devil

i'm good but im not an angel

''Dont let someone become a priority in your life..
When you are just an options in theirs.''

I guess i'l end my entry here.

But before that, once again, Give thanks to Allah.

Allah is GREAT.

Till Here,

Take Care.

2010-04-23T12:13:00.007+08:00

Behind my smile there's many tears,
for one we love and lost so dear,

an empty place that cant be filled,
i miss you now and always will...

Rifqy,please come into my dreams soon sayang...

Im missing u too much already,it hurts badly...

Muhd Rifqy Erdanniel B Erzan Eusope

*13 May 09 - 07 July 09*

Till Here,

Take Care